tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-103356592024-03-27T14:36:23.891+08:00walking with sunshineI was asthmatic when I was a kid, so physical exercises were not my kind of thing. I never ran or jogged--so I walked.Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.comBlogger1140125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-1528776467620592672023-12-23T06:09:00.002+08:002023-12-23T06:09:33.689+08:00QuarantineDuring the pandemic, I never experienced being quarantined as the time that I had COVID, it was during the Omicron phase and almost the whole household had it. Two years after, I managed to catch the dreaded virus but asymptomatic. Nevertheless, I had to isolate myself to ensure that those with comorbidities don't catch it.<div><br /></div><div>It just sucks that I had to test positive, 3 days before Christmas and quarantine is for 5 days. This means that I'll be missing the Christmas festivities--lunch with my dad on Christmas Eve and lunch with my husband's extended family on Christmas Day. Not to mention missing the Misa de Gallo at 430AM--which was my pledge to finish to give thanks for my son's healing.</div><div><br /></div><div>I tested myself as two of my team members tested positive. The first one tested last Monday but the day after, I didn't feel any symptoms so I didn't test. But on Friday morning, my other team member confirmed that she has it so I had no choice but to check. Lo and behold, two lines. It wasn't the same excitement that I felt when I also saw two lines years ago (e.g. pregnancy tests).</div><div><br /></div><div>I was in the office then so I was quickly sent home and I ensconced myself in our room. Hubby had no choice but to set up a bed in his home office and the kids can't go near me. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm pretty optimistic about this though. I've been running myself ragged the past few weeks with all the parties, office deliverables and what have you. Hopefully, I can spend the time sleeping or watching my pending KDramas or cleaning our room. I'm also praying that I don't develop any symptoms and remain asymptomatic.</div><div><br /></div><div>Before my youngest got sick, we planned this to be an unforgettable Christmas as we were supposed to fly for the US last Dec. 18 and spend Christmas with my mom and my siblings. It will still be a Christmas to remember as for the first time, I'll be spending it all by myself (cue Celine Dion's song).</div><div><br /></div><div>So for all what's worth, Happy Holidays, everyone! And may your celebrations be virus-free!</div>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-45150167979282514122023-10-07T06:40:00.001+08:002023-10-07T06:40:32.507+08:00Crossroads<p>My family went through a lifechanging ordeal recently. </p><p>My youngest was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease--<a href="https://www.encephalitis.info/nmdar-antibody-encephalitis">Anti-NMDAReceptor Encephalitis</a>. It started with the <a href="https://walkingwithsunshine.blogspot.com/2023/08/parenting-child-with-autism-and-seizure.html">seizure</a> episode and it went downhill from there. As per tagged website, symptoms are as follows:</p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Open Sans", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">At onset, the most distinctive features include prominent and mixed psychiatric symptoms, seizures, confusion and memory loss. The psychiatric features often include bizarre and rather disturbing behaviours with mood changes, and patients are often initially looked after in mental health hospitals. They may see things which aren’t there, develop strange beliefs or appear agitated. After this, often 10 to 20 days later, patients develop a movement disorder, variations in blood pressure, heart rate and temperature and lose awareness. The movement disorder often consists of continuous writhing and twitching of face and limbs but can also be a generalised slowing-down of movements. Most patients develop several of these features, but very rarely individual patients may experience only a few of these features.</span></p><p>Seeing my son go through all of these was very traumatic. I felt so helpless that I couldn't do anything to help him except rely on his doctors to help him get well.</p><p>We spent 23 days at the <a href="https://www.asianhospital.com/">Asian Hospital</a> and it was 23 days of torture. It took 2 weeks for his illness to be diagnosed and another week or so of treatments. </p><p>We were able to bring my son home but the road to recovery is long and arduous. He basically went through the whole gamut of symptoms and when we were discharged, he was on a wheelchair and could not eat or do things by himself. From the lively, active boy, he basically became an invalid who depended on us 100%.</p><p>I rely on the proven fact that recovery is imminent but we would have to be patient as it can take as long as 2 years. I've read so many testimonies of children getting better and resuming their old lives. I can't wait for that time to come as my heart breaks everytime I see my child being the way he is right now.</p><p>Now, I have to struggle with my own conundrum and make more decisions.</p><p>I've posted previously about my job which I love. However, it entails long hours and much of my energy. I'm lucky that the past two days I've returned to the office, the people I needed to talk to were away for an offsite meeting so I was able to go home earlier than usual and spend time with my sons (my eldest is also sick so I had to tend to him as well). A few months back, I was asked if I wanted to take on one of the units which my boss had problems with. But that would entail giving up my current job and moving to that team which my boss did not want me to do as he wants me to stay put. Now I'm seriously thinking of pushing it.</p><p>The new role is actually what I used to do in my previous job. The main reason why I'm seriously eyeing it now is that it's relatively light and based on what I've observed, not as heavy as my current role. Though how much I love my boss and what I do, my family comes first. </p><p>Let's see. I'll check how I am in a week's time and if this feeling persists then will push for the move.</p><p>In the meantime, please pray for the recovery of my son.</p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-28346573345412150732023-08-29T09:53:00.002+08:002023-08-29T09:53:13.949+08:00Parenting a Child with Autism and Seizure DisordersMy youngest son was diagnosed with <b>Autism Spectrum Disorder, Moderate – with Receptive and Expressive Language Delay </b>(DSM-V code: 299.01) two years ago. I can still remember sitting in the doctor's office and the devped breaking the news to us. Though I had my suspicions, it's still different having them confirmed. <div><br /></div><div>We got a full-time caregiver for him as I work long hours. I'm thankful that my husband arranges for all the therapies and school requirements. I just show up at the PTC or school activity when asked.</div><div><br /></div><div>It doesn't mean that I don't know how to take care of my son. </div><div><br /></div><div>Everytime his yaya goes on her day-off, I take care of him--whether to feed him or bathe him. I thought we had a system going on until an event took us by surprise just this weekend.</div><div><br /></div><div>We were having a quiet morning at the grocery one Saturday. I was going around getting our essentials while my son was in another cart. Like always, he had a Tide bar in his hand as he likes the smell. However, I was surprised when I saw him covered with vomit as apparently he threw up. We thought he bit into the detergent bar. So his caregiver took him to the restroom to get him cleaned up. </div><div><br /></div><div>A few minutes later, she called me saying that my son looks a bit weak and that we should go home. When I saw them, he could barely lift his head and we carried him back to the car. However, I became concerned when he was unresponsive even if his eyes were open. We then decided to bring him to the ER which was fortunately, just across the mall.</div><div><br /></div><div>Upon arriving, the guards had to help me carry him inside. When the nurses saw him, they immediately called out, "Seizure", and quickly rushed him to critical care. It was then that I broke down. </div><div><br /></div><div>I saw him hooked into whatever machine to monitor his vital signs and an IV was also inserted. In regular days, he would've cried loudly but in that case, there was no reaction whatsoever. I sat down with him and kept on calling him but no response--just wide open and twitching eyes. </div><div><br /></div><div>The ER was able to contact our pedia and upon seeing his eyes, we were referred to a neuro pedia who had him sedated. It was a long hour where I alternated between crying, talking to him and praying. I knew he was waking up when he began moving on his own. He said, "help me", when he saw all the things on him and vomited again--probably due to the meds. </div><div><br /></div><div>It took 4 nurses to get him cleaned up and transferred to another bed and he slept his natural sleep. From the ER, we were transferred to a regular room where the neuro pedia saw us and an EEG was performed. </div><div><br /></div><div>Fortunately, we were discharged a day later armed with lots of information about seizure and anti-seizure meds. </div><div><br /></div><div>Seeing my son go through that is just a traumatizing experience. We were told that it's not something to be too worried about as long as we manage the seizures--meaning keeping him safe and that someone should be with him 24/7.</div><div><br /></div><div>Regardless of the doctor's assurances, I can't help but worry. When my son was diagnosed with ASD, we got him into therapy which would help him to become an independent and contributing member to society. But this impairment is one roadblock which we're not prepared to handle yet. </div><div><br /></div><div>I know we'll get through this and that our son will power through. We'll just take it one day at a time. </div>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-41409885108045705252023-07-31T05:42:00.003+08:002023-07-31T08:35:39.908+08:00My First Tooth ExtractionI'm nearing my 50s and it's only now that I experienced getting a tooth extracted.<div><br /></div><div>The tooth in question was my front right molar which was actually root canaled more than 15 years ago. The tooth finally fractured a couple of Fridays ago. Unfortunately, my dentists aka my sister and brother-in-law have migrated abroad so I had to look for somebody local. I managed to snag an appointment at Affinity Dental Clinics here at Alabang. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was very early for my appointment though I assured the receptionist that I was willing to wait. When it was my turn, I was handed a hairnet and lead to a dentist chair by a very kind Dr. Matabuena. She did an initial examination and said that I already have an infection as manifested by a pimple on my gum. She had an x-ray done and they confirmed the infection and that my tooth was already fractured thus the extraction recommendation.</div><div><br /></div><div>After drinking a week's worth of antibiotics, I returned to the clinic and I ensured I arrived a few minutes before my schedule. </div><div><br /></div><div>The procedure did not take long (barely an hour). I didn't know if they injected me with a calming thing other than the anesthesia but I was too undisturbed considering I just had a tooth extracted and I even saw the tooth (I was tempted to post it here but am now sure how to hide it).</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm now recovering from the after-effects. When the anesthesia wore of yesterday, I could feel the pain. It wasn't as excruciating as I thought (try suffering through a caesarean birth then you'll know what pain is) but still bothersome that I could only lie down the rest of the day.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was given three options post-surgery, well four but only considering three:</div><div>1. Dental implants which will cost probably the same as my son's tuition fee;</div><div>2. Crown or bridge</div><div>3. Dentures</div><div><br /></div><div>The fourth is to just let it be but I won't rest easy knowing and feeling there's a hole between my teeth. </div><div><br /></div><div>Going for option 3. </div>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-88028419756270816352023-02-04T19:00:00.001+08:002023-02-04T19:00:07.864+08:00Be Comfortable with the Uncomfortable<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgA-XtOPqpE6GK4CW8wrTdZvLUCUKY65IE5cDQXqnbjmc_qT5xWfloWY6uL1rUEbdM17qsXYga6AvSu4xLwUi9SpymVyrbQYGYucmx1S5qRzJg1meeYbeF7330LlM5mXeJ2fCrIMLvMah0R8_lvh8250h1ucBkb3pYy0cpv0csQul9Weefev3I" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgA-XtOPqpE6GK4CW8wrTdZvLUCUKY65IE5cDQXqnbjmc_qT5xWfloWY6uL1rUEbdM17qsXYga6AvSu4xLwUi9SpymVyrbQYGYucmx1S5qRzJg1meeYbeF7330LlM5mXeJ2fCrIMLvMah0R8_lvh8250h1ucBkb3pYy0cpv0csQul9Weefev3I" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When I'm asked by people nowadays, I always say that I'm very happy with where I am and what I do right now in terms of work. It's the hardest job I've ever done and I don't think I've worked and used my brain this much in my entire life. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I'm also asked why I'm happy. It's because I know that I'm needed and that I am always and I mean ALWAYS appreciated and acknowledged. It's embarrassing sometimes but my boss sang me praises in front of our vendors and other senior leaders have also thanked me publicly for the work that I have done. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I work almost 12 hours every day and not counting the time I spend to go to work and go home. I have to talk to numerous people and write countless papers where the drafts sometimes gets overhauled by my boss. I meet people inside and outside the office so I can put together the programs that the business needs. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Regardless of the hardships, I'm still happy and fulfilled. I'm also thankful to my boss as he saw the potential in me. He did not lock me into a role based on my past skillsets but he saw that I'm capable of more things beyond of what I did. For that, I owe him my undying loyalty and I made that pledge to him while walking to a meeting. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I still have so many things to do and I hope I will be privileged enough to see all of them through. </div><p></p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-8431570089185222902023-01-07T20:54:00.001+08:002023-01-07T20:54:02.456+08:00Good FitI consider myself as a good boss. In my previous couple of jobs, I managed to promote people and make their lives easier. I would think that up to now, my former team still hold me in high regard. Whenever people would leave, I let them go with light hearts because I know that I've given them what I can and it would give me more opportunities to develop other talents.<div><br /></div><div>With my new job however, it's so difficult to find people with the skillset that I need. In the year and a half that I've been with my new employer, I've had one person leave me and looks like another person in the way. According to them, it's the pay. It may be possible that whatever they do is not commensurate to the pay that they're getting. I beg to differ though. I guess I'm just not finding the right set of people.</div><div><br /></div><div>Since this is a new department and role that was created, it's difficult to really pin down the talent that I need. I need someone who can write well and has an analytical mind. One who can also argue and not afraid to talk to people. Since my background is operations, I know I cannot get someone from my old team so it's either I get someone from within or someone who already has the background on the products that I manage.</div><div><br /></div><div>I can feel myself panicking once again as it looks like I'll be working longer hours than usual once again to take up the slack. </div>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-61309865782324844442022-11-27T20:26:00.003+08:002022-11-27T20:26:40.538+08:00Sidelines<p>It happened again. </p><p>Once again, I was left out from the list of people who were invited to an event. I know I was invited as I received the official notice but when they did another round, I was omitted from the list.</p><p>I clarified that I was invited and that I should go. But then, I was forgotten once again. It hurt a lot because it's not the first time it happened. All of the people were there except for me. Hay naku. I give up to think I've reminded and requested so many times. I know where I'm not wanted.</p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-69070841739952613592022-10-18T22:28:00.000+08:002022-10-18T22:28:04.155+08:00Left Out<p>I'm used to being left out. Happens even to my own family--where people sometimes "forget" to invite me to some gathering and I only get to hear or know about it when somebody tells me or I see pictures of the event. </p><p>I should be used to it. </p><p>But it still hurts sometimes when I see pictures of events where I'm not invited to but I see people whom I know is there. Makes me think that there's something wrong with me. Or maybe I'm not an exciting or pleasant person to be around. </p><p>I am used to it. </p><p>That I've learned to shut the world out and keep everything to myself. I've learned to "get over" things because I can't seem to open up to people to way I used to; that I can never find a place where I "truly belong".</p><p>Should I get used to it?</p><p>No? Maybe? Perhaps? Yes? I don't know. The best that I can do now is to acknowledge my feelings and accept the fact that I cannot please everyone and that there will be people out there who will not like me. Maybe because they're just reacting to how I treat them or how I project to the world. I can be aloof and I can be clueless sometimes. Maybe this was just how I coped. </p><p>This is me.</p><p>So I guess I just have to live with the version of me and strive to be better and not let these things affect me. I know my worth and I know whose approval and acceptance are important to me. </p><p>They are still my family. They are still my friends. I am still me. I guess I just know where I stand and I am mature enough to acknowledge that. </p><p>Life goes on. And so must I. </p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-89443888165664065122022-08-15T18:13:00.001+08:002022-08-15T18:13:53.256+08:00Disconnected<p>I thought that I was fine being myself when I partially disconnected myself from the world--a by-product of the pandemic in the last 2 years. </p><p>Being an original introvert, I had no problems doing things by myself, whether that would involve eating at a restaurant, going to the mall, travelling and what have you. I only relied on myself and thought that I'm capable and strong enough.</p><p>But I feel something is wrong. </p><p>I've lost the ability to feel, like, I'm resigned to a fate where the outcome is something that I do not want. Simply put, I've lost hope.</p><p>I began to feel this way ever since the election results came out last May 9. Some would say that it's just politics and life goes on. But I can't just bring myself to live in a world where the people who I trust to run my government lies to my face and gaslights me into thinking that everything is fine and dandy. Worse, is when people get away from twisting the truth into their favor. </p><p>Hopefully, I can snap out of this soon. </p><p><br /></p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-68018526235536150042022-05-22T20:47:00.003+08:002022-05-22T20:47:39.483+08:00Why Me?I had a nice after-work drink with my boss and colleagues last week.<div><br /><div>When talk turned to work and how much we're cleaning stuff, I asked him why he got me for the role. His straight answer was, "Hindi ka kasi natatakot mahirapan." (You're not afraid of hardship)</div><div><br /></div><div>That made me reflect on myself. </div><div><br /></div><div>I take it that I'm not afraid of hard work and that I can handle anything that's thrown at me. At the same time, I'm thinking whether I'm a sucker for punishment. </div><div><br /></div><div>The past 6 months at my new job was not exactly a walk in the park. There were so many late nights literally burning the midnight oil as there were so many things that I had to do as my unit was literally a hodge-podge of everything. </div><div><br /></div><div>Amazingly, I'm not complaining. I guess my boss knows how to challenge me. Suffice to say, the job satisfaction that I've been looking for the past 25 years, I found it now. </div></div>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-62664761560807951172022-04-01T07:58:00.000+08:002022-04-01T07:58:04.563+08:00Belt Tightening<p>I just found out about my youngest son's tuition yesterday. Good thing my husband asked me to sit down first before showing me the list of tuitions and fees.</p><p>I haven't publicly shared it but B2 was diagnosed with Autism, as such, the need for therapies and special education.</p><p>Since he can't go to a mainstream school, we had to put him in SPED. Fortunately, we found a SPED school within the village but I was taken aback by the price. I initially balked but my husband pushed that we should go for it since it's for the education of our child. Nevertheless, I still can't get over my shock. </p><p>Looks like there will be a LOT of belt-tightening this year. Should seriously push to declutter. Sigh. </p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-72329607637765067872022-03-22T08:15:00.005+08:002022-03-22T08:15:42.095+08:00Midnight Oil<p>Ever since I started my new job, I haven't seriously watched a new Kdrama. I would watch the one-time drops and maybe a few movies, but looking at my list, nothing new.</p><p>I'm not sure if it's because of my working schedule. I work longer hours compared to my previous job but I'm happier and more challenged. I'm literally out of my comfort zone and still trying to grasp the concepts of what I'm doing.</p><p>Granted that my boss literally plucked me from my previous company and placed me here, I know I can't fully depend on him to teach me on what to do. I had to learn things by myself and find my own answers. Or maybe because I thrive on the way he teaches. </p><p>I'm the type who learns from experience and my task involves writing multiple papers. I've experienced submitting three papers and all of them returned to me with major overhauls. I'm used to it by now but I hope the time will come when he immediately approves what I send. I would feel dejected when that happens but I would pull myself up and re-do what he asked me to do. </p><p>Going back to why I brought up my Kdramas. I'd usually watch them during my free time but I would turn off my laptop earliest at 9PM while last night, I was working until midnight. During weekends, I would rather sleep or go out with my family. Also, for some reason, no drama would appeal to me. Maybe because I'm looking for something grittier or darker? </p><p>Anyway, still working from home today. Prefer the peace and quiet here so I can write properly. Sigh. </p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-10097719667893539962022-03-21T09:14:00.001+08:002022-03-21T09:14:55.120+08:00<p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgCkNAHPiUZ8yGf66HLU-6bgCVp67txdoM9H-PCZmNMPi1aQ4XM8d-7w6EeCTrWsqDkB3TgpxPd1ffxbE5P9-EWeEVdi_RdDlglu_Zm2NWr9KODZO5x8Y_SHd5Zjj3iYJfkFURtf_WBY6du6RXRcNS1ujHtbUTbMOuPKXVI11GnQ-IO48dgHXU" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2512" data-original-width="3567" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgCkNAHPiUZ8yGf66HLU-6bgCVp67txdoM9H-PCZmNMPi1aQ4XM8d-7w6EeCTrWsqDkB3TgpxPd1ffxbE5P9-EWeEVdi_RdDlglu_Zm2NWr9KODZO5x8Y_SHd5Zjj3iYJfkFURtf_WBY6du6RXRcNS1ujHtbUTbMOuPKXVI11GnQ-IO48dgHXU" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">https://bagong.pagasa.dost.gov.ph/climate/climate-heat-index</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /></p><p>I usually start the day by writing in my journal, but I left it in the office as I requested to only work from home 3x/ this week. Fortunately, I was granted permission considering the atrocious gas prices these days. </p><p>Summer has officially began and I could feel it in the afternoons. I've forgotten how hot it is and since our bedroom is located at the second floor, it can get uncomfortably warm in the evening (hot air goes up etc etc). For the first time in months (and ever since I set up the AI in our bedroom), I brought the aircon temp down to 21 with high fan. If this was during the cold months and that kind of aircon temp, we'd be bundled up in sheets and a comforter. But nowadays, we're comfortable enough with a thin blanket. </p><p>Mondays are so hard. It's difficult to jumpstart my brain to start working as it refuses to leave the relaxed state it's in. No wonder people detest Monday meetings. I *should* start working now. *sigh sigh sigh*</p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-12374640283156555112022-03-19T22:09:00.001+08:002022-03-19T22:09:02.422+08:00Pressure is a Privilege<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiy0gMVnmJDPueMapkKSGiUEVBxkqGEiqmLaOMQiqxMhrmrWkOMB_8rTSW3Wqtshg_mRfV3quvZIAf_w4Jq01VmqfQbbe8jmlwOW68qrfXvhYS_4q7xu_artcTqYmI4qW5cLIhXlOhH1xZ78yIVkOZMAIk-rDM58XghMzUuqYeicHSrBnqpZJI=s3840" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2160" data-original-width="3840" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiy0gMVnmJDPueMapkKSGiUEVBxkqGEiqmLaOMQiqxMhrmrWkOMB_8rTSW3Wqtshg_mRfV3quvZIAf_w4Jq01VmqfQbbe8jmlwOW68qrfXvhYS_4q7xu_artcTqYmI4qW5cLIhXlOhH1xZ78yIVkOZMAIk-rDM58XghMzUuqYeicHSrBnqpZJI=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br />My new job has been very interesting. Not only is it different from what I used to do, the pressure is also real. But at the end, I'm still happy.<p></p><p>I moved jobs because I followed my previous boss. Out of all the immediate supervisors I had, he was the only one that really got me. He knew how to motivate me to be a better version of myself and it was through pressure.</p><p>My responsibilities involves numerous projects and he gave me deadlines which made me question my capabilities. Amazingly, I still get to meet his expectations. I love sitting in meetings with him because I get to pick his brain and I get to learn a lot. He managed to impress most people the almost one year that he was with the company. </p><p>When I was given a new task just this week, he mentioned the above quote which we got from a speaker in one of our office functions. I guess I'm very privileged as the pressure is real. Granted that he's the only one pressuring me but I truly enjoy the challenge. I take pride in the fact that he handpicked me so I can execute all the projects and enhancement that he wants.</p><p>The amount of work that I do now is more than what I used to do. But I am truly happy and satisfied with what I do. It's amazing that I get to discover and learn more things at my age. </p><p><br /></p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-34745216493509353132022-03-06T13:56:00.003+08:002023-12-23T06:34:15.361+08:00The Batman<p>Dear Ernie,</p><p>When my husband asked me if I wanted to watch The Batman, I automatically said yes because it's the first time in more than two years that we'll be able to watch a movie at the cinema. I didn't care what film it was as long as I get to watch it on screen.</p><p>I did not even research what the movie was about. I just got the details literally minutes before the screening. I'm just like, ok, it's another superhero movie. Yey. For the life of me, I forgot that this was the movie starring Robert Pattinson--my Twilight crush. My husband even teased me for being a fake fan for not knowing about it. </p><p>Funny that after the movie, I suddenly remembered you and got sad all of a sudden. I recall how much you loved the Joker, Batman and even Star Wars. If there was no pandemic and you're still here, you would've rented out a moviehouse again and watched it with your friends. You would've nitpicked the suit or even Rob's voice. Maybe we would see each other the Monday after and dissected the story or even that ending. </p><p>It was a very morose on the drive home. I wanted to just drive out onto the highway and talk to you in my head. But my head was telling me that I just filled up my tank and gas is very expensive as hell. </p><p>I'm interested what would be your take in this version but as for me, I liked it. In the past Batman movies, the Bruce Wayne persona is always handsome, dashing or well put together. But this Bruce Wayne, Rob played him to be tortured and brooding which is more realistic for an orphan who chose to be a recluse. Even if I'm not a fan of Rob whenever he's interviewed, he plays characters so well--whatever they may be. </p><p>I really like the version of this batsuit (though it's interesting that he was never called "Batman" during the whole film). I would've discussed it with you more in detail. So many things we could've talked about (sigh).</p><p>I ended up messaging Dette to ask her to have lunch next week. I don't know if she has watched it but I'll certainly tell her about it.</p><p>Looking forward to the day when we can get to talk about this--and other movies that you might have missed.</p><p>Take care up there. </p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-74739465443522743292022-01-20T21:57:00.000+08:002022-01-20T21:57:02.830+08:00Amazing<p>It's amazing that I was able to write as much as I did last year. It was the most number of posts that I had for a whole year for the longest time. I don't know what caused me to be prolific but I'm not complaining. The posts waned though towards the end of the year when I moved to another company.</p><p>Speaking of...</p><p>I've been with this new company already for three months and so far, I'm happy with what I'm doing. I'm still missing some sort of direction but I feel productive. I</p><p>I'm able to fix the issues the are thrown my way through I think I can do more if I manage to wrap my head around the processes and stuff. Sometimes, I miss my previous company because I already know my way around the bureaucratic bullshit that happens inside a company. This time around, I'm still learning and hoping that I don't get to step on any sensitive toes.</p><p>I already met someone who I'm not comfortable with. Fortunately, I don't need to work with her a lot. </p><p>I haven't left the house since Jan 4. That was more than 2 weeks ago. Good thing I'm cleared already so I can breathe a different kind of air. I'm too cooped up as it is. Hopefully, I've developed some sort of immunity already because of my recent bout with COVID. I'm glad I'm vaccinated and boostered at that.</p><p>I'm more productive lately compared to going to the office. Maybe when things get stressful then I would welcome the change of atmosphere. As it is, my mandate now is to work from home for the meantime until we're called back. Though I would need to go to the office to get some stuff. Hopefully, my boss will allow me. </p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-52829062504705056702022-01-15T10:12:00.003+08:002022-01-15T10:12:53.812+08:00A New Year<p>The last two years felt like a dream…or a nightmare probably? Who knew that it would only take an unseen enemy to change our life the way it did the past couple of years.</p><p>COVID is our new enemy and unfortunately, it’s something that we can’t win against. We learn to eventually live with it and accept the new normal. Fortunately, our whole household, except for my 4 year old, was vaccinated against it when it hit our house. Symptoms were not as moderate as what we would hear in the news. I’m not saying that what’s happening outside is not true—it’s just proof that vaccines work and we were protected against anything severe.</p><p>January is only two weeks in yet it feels like it’s been going on forever. Not only did I had to deal with matters at home (my son’s yaya was the first victim so I had to take care of him and cook meals while attending a meeting), but I also have to deal with work deadlines. Much as I would want to take a rest, expectations are high as I recently joined my new company. Though I don’t normally care what people think of me, but I did not want to make my boss lose face in front of his peers considering he fought for my hiring and even created the position for me. I have a big project that will launch next week and I’m hoping that it would further solidify my boss’ decision to hire me. </p><p>I had a moment last week wherein I almost broke down. I was so stressed at work, then I had to take care of my son and clean and cook. It was lunch time that I realiced that I haven’t taken a bath or even had coffee. Now I know why moms are so harried. I always thought that I’ll be calm and composed but this was different. It made me look at stay-at-home moms in a new light and even if I’m not going to have kids anymore, I don’t think it’s something that I will be good at. </p><p>Here’s hoping and praying that this year will be better for all of us.</p><p>Happy New Year, world!</p><p><br /></p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-13294478545435996132021-12-21T10:30:00.002+08:002021-12-21T16:03:38.947+08:00Nagparamdam<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzwNi4r5Mp6_iETemXq3IYT2PGl7OSj1pw9_261f_auQsUE5Sae-hUTeSccVKp-DBqXIq0xIvdgC82ArGYJrxtZZimMaV-Y_BZVv4-fZdXgwqnoRvGzzQDcg2cJBO73NcwPa5RjZS0X99ktTzys15Jm58cvl4U1kufjzINbFMf67uCCbJtfZg=s2048" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzwNi4r5Mp6_iETemXq3IYT2PGl7OSj1pw9_261f_auQsUE5Sae-hUTeSccVKp-DBqXIq0xIvdgC82ArGYJrxtZZimMaV-Y_BZVv4-fZdXgwqnoRvGzzQDcg2cJBO73NcwPa5RjZS0X99ktTzys15Jm58cvl4U1kufjzINbFMf67uCCbJtfZg=s320" width="213" /></a></div><br />It's been seven months since you've been gone. <div><br /></div><div>There are days that I really miss you. I miss bouncing ideas off someone and having someone find solutions for me. I miss having someone who knows what I want even before I want it. You were always like that. You were the best co-worker/team leader I've ever had and you definitely made my work as your department head, so easy. </div><div><br /></div><div>Just last week, I was so angry at a bank as they managed to fudge up my request which resulted to me being charged with unnecessary fees. I asked to speak with a supervisor who promised me a resolution. Within the day, somebody called me to find more about my issue and promised that he'll help me. When I asked for his name, I was taken aback when it was the same as yours. I literally paused and almost cried. I remember how you were always like that. You knew how to assuage my anger before it got out of hand. I thanked the person over the phone and told him that he shared the same name as one of my good friends. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now that I started a new job, I'm missing you more than ever. There were times that I felt so lost in what I do and doubted myself and my capabilities. I recall when I started my last role in our company, I confided to you my insecurities but you cheered me on saying I can do it and that I'll succeed. And what do you know, I did. What saddens me was that you were not around to see me kick ass. </div><div><br /></div><div>I finally had lunch with your lovely wife yesterday. While walking to the restaurant, I was figuring out how I should greet her but the apprehension disappeared when I saw her. We were both all smiles and shared stories, anecdotes and whatever else under the sun about our respective lives and of course, about you. I almost lost it when she showed me her remembrance of you but I kept it together. What made me lose it though, was when we hugged goodbye afterwards. I wanted to cry in the middle of High Street but we did promise that there would be no tears. </div><div><br /></div><div>Up to now, I still want to cry everytime I'd remember that hug. I don't know if it was her consoling me or me consoling her but we both know that it will take time for all of us to get over losing you. And from the looks of it--her most especially.</div><div><br /></div><div>I promise one day, I'll visit your resting place. In my mind, you are still alive and kicking and that I'll get to talk to you again when we return to work. I guess when I do visit you, it'll be me accepting that you're really gone. </div><div><br /></div><div>In the meantime, I'd like to let you know that I'm getting used to my new job--acclimating myself to the culture and the people and looking for a person who can be my "Ernie". </div>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-70013967732247899182021-10-22T21:45:00.004+08:002021-10-22T21:45:37.929+08:00First Week<p>As expected, my first week at my new job was information overload. I had to unlearn all the jargon I knew and learn new ones. I had to familiarize myself with processes and people. </p><p>I also had a short talk with my boss earlier and I realized that I've been given a daunting task. Hopefully, I'll be able to deliver. He thinks he can so I'll hold on to that belief that I can. All it takes is just one person to believe in me.</p><p>What I do involves a lot of research and readings--one that I know I'm good at. Hopefully, I'll still be fit in the role even if my experience was in the back-end. </p><p>I'm also intimidated by the other executives reporting to my boss. This is the largest I've seen him handle but I believe he'll be able to do it. Hopefully, so can I. </p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-56982148023031425902021-10-19T12:51:00.000+08:002021-10-19T12:51:00.844+08:00Constant Change<p>The past few weeks have been hectic.</p><p>I tendered my resignation last September 17 and had my last day on October 15. I started my new job yesterday, October 18. Not to mention, tending to bread and kimchi orders. I haven't had time to sit down and rest or even watch my kdramas.</p><p>I have been with the bank for 9 years and 7 months. I guess 9 is the magic number because even in my previous job, I also resigned at 9 years. </p><p>One thing I learned in my despedidas was that I never realized how important I was until I left. The accolades just came one after the other yet I never felt them when I was holding that position. </p><p>I'm excited about this new role as it's different from I do. Hopefully, I'll be able to delivery expectations to think it took more than 6 months until I was able to transition. I'm not that nervous as I trust my line manager enough that he'll guide me to do the correct and right things. Hopefully, it will translate well. </p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-91807719475121189172021-10-05T06:52:00.001+08:002021-10-05T06:54:15.788+08:00And It StartsThe -ber months have always been horribly busy for me and being in lockdown--well, Alert Level 4--does not exempt me from that.<div><br /></div><div>Last year, I have taken to baking breads and eventually selling them which kept me busy until December. This year, I added kimchi to my menu and it helped boost up the sales. However, I'm also learning Korean on top of transitioning to my new job which added to the stress. I should be doing my homework now but I'm beginning to believe that learning a new language at my age can be quite a deterrent. I can't keep up with my classmates and I struggle in forming sentences. I mean, I can understand but replying to a question can take me minutes to form a single sentence. </div><div><br /></div><div>But then, I realized that everything is just a mind game. I kept on putting myself down in my socmed page which somehow added to the belief that I'm no good. </div><div><br /></div><div>I had the same experience in high school when I always thought that I'm horrible in Math. We had a tutor who taught us that it's actually easy and when I got the concepts, I had a grand time. </div><div><br /></div><div>So I guess I just have to convince myself that I can actually do this. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-76819298806439581942021-09-18T06:43:00.002+08:002021-09-18T06:43:41.853+08:00New Beginnings<p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQnb2jxlsvHUODQrIlIVyc1D__qjNqV6Ewpwe4N-NQTTvu-nhQa8BobB5wEvT21goKTS2HL4qecMTiTHYDEhX9JjA8slABdZKxVMDnam24cjWkxkagJLEYE-LYcgfFBCu23C7Lbg/s962/new+beginnings.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="962" data-original-width="830" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQnb2jxlsvHUODQrIlIVyc1D__qjNqV6Ewpwe4N-NQTTvu-nhQa8BobB5wEvT21goKTS2HL4qecMTiTHYDEhX9JjA8slABdZKxVMDnam24cjWkxkagJLEYE-LYcgfFBCu23C7Lbg/s320/new+beginnings.png" width="276" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taken from <a href="http://weheartit.com">weheartit.com</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br />After 9 years and 7 months with my company, I finally tendered my resignation and will stay for 30 days to do my turnover. </p><p>My husband actually took an issue why I should take 30 days when I have all those vacation leaves available. There are just so many things to do that I need to either finish or turnover to the next person who will take over my responsibilities.</p><p>It was really difficult at first. I mulled it over for several weeks and months until I finally decided to take the plunge. I couldn't sleep the previous day that I scheduled the talk with my manager and afterwards, I felt like I could breathe. </p><p>It won't be a big change as I'll be in the same industry industries and I'll be working with my previous boss whom I really got along well with. Together we'll get to accomplish so many things. He'll be the brains, I'll be the hands and feet. </p><p>My leaving won't be as bittersweet even if I spent almost a decade with this company. The pandemic somehow dulled the memories as I haven't seen my colleagues for almost two years now. If ever we were at work, my resignation won't be as easy. <br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>So excited to start this new chapter of my journey. <br /> <p></p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-90622522997494006512021-09-15T07:44:00.003+08:002021-09-15T07:44:47.717+08:00Out of Sorts<p>I've been out of sorts the past weeks. I've taken to walking 2-3x/ a week. However, I realized I should take more precautions now due to the weather. </p><p>In the past, I usually wear dri-fit clothes when I go out at 530 or 6 in the morning. Lately, I have to factor in the early morning weather which is quite cool but unfortunately, is not good for sweating people. </p><p>For the past couple of weeks, I've always wondered why I fall sick the day after I go walking. It seems that my shirt was too thin and my sweat would dry out in the cold morning air. As what we say in the local language, <i>nahamugan</i>. I never believed in it until I experienced it. I was disappointed in myself for being so sensitive. Or maybe it comes with the age. </p><p>So if I'm better tomorrow, will walk wearing a sweater on top of my shirt. Hopefully, it'll stave off any ailments. </p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-7242845815911106712021-09-10T18:43:00.004+08:002021-09-10T18:43:23.945+08:00Crossroads<p>I'm faced with a crossroads once again. </p><p>Taking the first step is always the hardest and all the cliches that comes with it. </p><p>I can do this. Wish me luck!</p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10335659.post-62870713233948838262021-09-01T08:11:00.002+08:002021-09-01T08:11:57.350+08:00Assertive Defender - ISFJ-A<p>I took this <a href="https://www.16personalities.com/">personality test </a>to know my profile and I laughed when I saw it. </p><p>Work-wise, I now know why I was chosen to take my current job role and why I excelled in it. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvuO3HEd8Jb-ZxpYpcF6ngyF25L2csYntFVF2pBUBGxs7OTRwueQ5AHjsGpE4r3unK0N7UOv1ztNKVPUuOCxEOd-7U8GHbj8EnMbS3a6HthXFmSOK7fFlZF9nTLYIrv99jRCeO0Q/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="385" data-original-width="373" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvuO3HEd8Jb-ZxpYpcF6ngyF25L2csYntFVF2pBUBGxs7OTRwueQ5AHjsGpE4r3unK0N7UOv1ztNKVPUuOCxEOd-7U8GHbj8EnMbS3a6HthXFmSOK7fFlZF9nTLYIrv99jRCeO0Q/" width="233" /></a></div><br />It was the Sentinel Role that really amused me. My current job is somewhat like audit and compliance and considered the 2nd line of defense of our company. Considering that I'm an assertive defender, I think I really have found my calling.<p></p><p>I got a kick out of this paragraph though:</p><p><i>In all of their relationships, Sentinels want to make contributions. This attitude informs how they treat not only their nearest and dearest but also their acquaintances, neighbors, and coworkers. <b>These aren’t the personality types who neglect their responsibilities or leave the office kitchen a mess – in fact, they’re often the types who quietly clean up other people’s messes, both literal and metaphorical.</b></i></p><p>I do this often--cleaning up other people's messes. It's a job that I actually enjoy and find a sense of accomplishment when I managed to have it done. And this one is true as well.</p><p><i>Of course, <b>Sentinels wouldn’t mind being recognized for the ways they help others, but these personalities rarely demand attention. Instead, they work behind the scenes to make everyone’s lives run as smoothly as possible</b>, even if that means taking on unglamorous tasks like remembering to buy toilet paper or handling their family’s income taxes. They may not be obvious with their feelings, but Sentinels do care and care deeply – you just have to know how to spot it.</i></p><p>Maybe that's why I have always been taken for granted. </p>Sunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01847515096675944055noreply@blogger.com0