Burn Out

I'm so tired. I haven't been this tired in my whole life. Actually, it's the stress and it's affecting my health already. I've been having problems breathing lately. It's not asthma because am not wheezing (and my gosh, I've been asthmatic half of my life so I know what an asthma attack feels like). It's just that my breathing is so shallow and it hurts when I take a deep breath. I already had an x-ray done but I still haven't gotten the results yet. Preliminary diagnosis is a sore cartilage (in my chest area) and it's usually associated with stress and tiredness.

Today is supposed to be a vacation. No, I'm not at work but I woke up at freaking 4:30 in the morning with thoughts of work in my head. Leo picked me up at 9 am and we had breakfast at Pancake House where I had their bangus breakfast. Afterwhich, we went to South Supermarket where I picked up a few groceries. On our way back to the car, I felt queasy and was finding it difficult to breathe. Morever, the sun was really hurting my eyes. Gosh, I must be turning into a vampire!

I don't know how long I'll last like this. Leo's getting worried for me already and so am I. I cry when I go home from work and I dread going to work the next day. Am in the verge of burnout and I badly need a vacation. Am going to talk to my boss when I get back tomorrow and negotiate for my vacation time. My block leave is initially scheduled on the end of December but I don't think I can wait that long. My sanity and my health is on the line already.

Just last week when I experienced these chest pains, I still had to go to work because my boss was worried--not about me but the work that I might leave behind. He said I should just speak up if I need to go to the hospital. Yeah right. All I need is to freaking rest!