The Icing or the Cake?

One can't really have everything.

Left and right, friends are either getting promoted or being pirated, while I'm stuck in the same old job and no forthcoming promotion to speak of.

I am so frustrated when it comes to my job that I've stopped hoping that something "good" will happen to me in my current company. Whenever I would rant about this to my friend, she would tell me that at least I have Leo. A lot of our friends who are moving ahead in their respective careers are not that "happy" because they're alone.

That made me stop and think. Yeah, I do have this special guy by my side, but that does not answer the need for fulfillment when it comes to my work.

I guess all I can do right now is to wait it out. I have imposed a deadline on myself. Two deadlines actually. My five year anniversary is coming this July and my graduation from my MBA (2006?). We'll see what happens then.

New Title Banner

Check out my new title banner!

Much thanks to my friend, Tim, who took the photo (Manhattan Beach, California) and fixed the whole thing for me too.

After my final exam on Thursday, I'm going to jazz up this whole thing! Hehe

No Goodbyes

Pope John Paul II has been dead for more than a week and was even buried last Friday, but I still can't seem to let him go.

Yesterday, Newsweek and Time featured him on their respective front covers. Instead of buying just one issue, I bought both. This morning, when I served at the Archbishop Palace, I broke into tears in the middle of communion when we sang "Tell the World of His Love" (World Youth Day'95 theme song). When a person close to Cardinal Sin joined us during breakfast, we interviewed him and asked about the Cardinal and how was Pope John Paul up close. I've heard all his answers before but it still feels different since I heard it straight from the source. I just can't seem to get enough.

It can be difficult to understand my devotion bordering to fanaticism over this person. Regardless of his trappings, the Pope is still a man. Besides, I haven't personally met the man and the closest that I came to him was during World Youth Day '95, and even then, I was in the sidelines and not even close enough to touch the Popemobile. But there is something holy about his aura that can move a person to tears. His humility and holiness reminds me that I am a sinful person and should ask for forgiveness. His smiling face exudes peace and can calm a soul and after all the hardships and trials, having someone to look up to can make you go on.

I know I can never be considered a saint (I can hear my friends sniggering), but I still aspire to live a good and peaceful life. To be able to give without expecting anything in return, to love without prejudice and to love God above everything else. It's a difficult task, but if the Pope was able to do it, then maybe, just maybe, I can do it too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEO!

It's Leo's bday! Leave him a message :)

PS, I Love You

It's been a long time ever since I read a book that made me break out in tears and literally made me weep.

PS, I Love You, a book by Cecilia Ahern made me do just that. I started reading it yesterday while I was at the salon getting a pedicure and I continued reading it last night and finished it this morning (I'm a speedreader. Can finish a 450 paged book in less than four hours).

When I first saw this book at Powerbooks, I had second thoughts of buying it. I mean hey, who wants to read a book about a young widow trying to get on with her life? But it was sensitively written and full of warm insights about love and life, that it made me want to recommend it to any friend or relative who recently lost a loved one.

I admit, there are some parts wherein you just want to whack Holly (that's the widow) on the head, for not wanting to get her old life back, but I guess it's easier said than done for most people. You'll never really know how it feels until you're there.

Another thing that I liked about this book is the setting. All the pop fiction that I've been reading are set either in the US, or in England. This is the first time that I read something where the lead character lives in Ireland. I could hear the way they speak and there are sometimes, that I think I could speak with their accent as well. At first, I was thinking whether it was set in Australia or England, but it was later on that they made it clear that it's in Ireland (I assume it's Ireland since Dublin is there, right?).

I remember that there's a Sweet Dreams book that I read in high school with the exact title and almost the same premise. In that Sweet Dreams novel, the guy is still alive and struggling with a terminal illness. I remembered crying buckets after reading it since it's my first romance teenybopper book and it had to be a sad one.

If you want a good laugh, and a good cry, go read this book (my gosh. I just read the bio of the author. She's freaking 22 years old AND the daughter of Ireland's prime minister....ooookkkk).


Here's the book's summary found on the back cover. They could have not said it any better:

Holly and Gerry are the kind of married couple that others envy. Then, at the age of 30, Gerry is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Holly doesn't know ho wshell go on without him, and in truth, she doesn't want to. But Gerry has other plans for Holly. Months after Gerry's death, Holly receives a package of letters that he's left for her, instructing her to perform a series of unexpected tasks. With the help of the letters--and her fun, quick-witted girlfriends and a raucously endearing family that smothers, loves, and drives her crazy--Holly wobbles, weaves, and jokes her way toward a new life, even larger than the one that she'd been forced to leave behind. PS, I Love You is a tender, funny, unexpectedly romantic novel that readers will treasure in their hearts and minds long after closing the pages.

Dating Myself

I woke up late and was not able to attend mass at the Villa. I slept around 130 am while keeping vigil on the Pope's health. When I woke up, I immediately turned on the TV and I learned that the Pope has quietly passed away this morning while we were slumbering. 9:37 pm Vatican time, around 330 am Manila time.

This time I was prepared, but I still can't help but shed a tear when CNN kept on showing pictures of him. He will definitely be a tough act to follow.

I decided to hear mass at the Divine Mercy and lo and behold, it's the Feast of Divine Mercy. There were so many people milling about and the church was packed! I managed to find a seat somewhere in the front left side. Typical of Divine fiestas, they booked bishops to say mass the whole day. Bishop Bacani was the priest presider on the mass that I heard (he was also the one who presided over my confirmation). People flocked around him after the mass. Everyone was trying to get his blessing, up to the point of grabbing his hand and pressing it to their foreheads and/or lips.

I caught a taxi outside the church and proceeded to Megamall where I bought some items and had a massage. I have a regular masseuse over at David's Day Spa and she was very pleased to see me after such a long period of absence.

After that very relaxing massage, I had lunch at Greenwich all by myself. It's a Sunday so there were so many families or couples milling about. Some of them even looked at me with question and/or with pity. They were probably wondering why I was alone. It does not bother me.

In fact, I used to go out by myself all the time even before Leo and I became an item. I got to go where I wanted to go and I actually got so many things done. I had to go home though before I exhausted my budget once again.

In case you're wondering what I'm doing by my lonesome when Leo and I usually spend weekends together, we decided not to go out this weekend due to the amount of papers and reports that we have to submit by the end of this week.

Oh yeah, it's Leo's birthday on Thursday. Do greet him, guys!

JP2! We Love You!

January 1995. It was this year that His Holiness, Pope John II came to Manila to participate in the World Youth Day. It was a very memorable time for me. Not only did I get the chance to be a volunteer (the handicapped delegates were entrusted to our care), but it was a chance to get as close as I can to the most charismatic person that I have ever known.

January 1995 was also a traumatic time for me. That's why I only remember bits and pieces of the event. It was during these World Youth Day celebrations wherein my first boyfriend and I broke up. Talk about selective amnesia.

Anyway, I've been closely monitoring CNN (cnn.com and cable tv) regarding news about the Pope's health. JP2 (as we fondly called him during his visit in Manila) has been stricken with Parkinson's and it's taking its toll on his frail body. Just seeing him bent and shaking from the disease makes me break out in tears. How can somebody who is so full of joy and love end up in such a state? Nevertheless, even in his condition, he still emits the old peace and serenity that influenced people around the world.

Last Thursday, Vatican came out with a press release that the Pope's health is deterioriating with the onset of a urinary track infection and high fever. It's already Saturday and the Vatican is due to come out with a briefing in half an hour. I can't help but feel anxious with what they will report.

Because of this, I don't know how to word my prayers. Part of me wants the Pope live so he could spread the miracle of the Lord's faith to more people. But I don't know if he is strong or even young enough to recover from such an ailment. In His age, he deserves to rest and prepare himself for his meeting with our God.

I remembered reading a news article wherein he was a subject of a failed assasination attempt in the 1980's. After recovering from the bullet wound, he visited his would-be assasin in jail and forgave him. I cried after reading that article. I was so touched because he exemplified Jesus' commandment, "Love one another as I have loved you." JP2 loved his would-be killer and he loved him enough to forgive him. That shows character. That is what real love is all about.

I haven't personally met this man. However, I have known him through my whole conscious life, as the successor of St. Peter. His name is uttered in masses and he usually makes news with his strong statements and influential missives. His goodness, peace and obvious love for God and His people inspires me to be a better Christian.



Death is imminent for this once-energetic person. I wish I could stand by his bedside and personally wish him farewell and thank him for touching my life the way he has, or at least be one of the hundreds of people at St. Peter's Square. But all I can do is stay here, pray and pay homage to the person who is loved by so many, and no doubt, is well favored by our Lord God.


JP2, we love you. May you peacefully go and meet our God. No doubt, He Himself is waiting there by Heaven's gates, ready to welcome you Home.

Thanks to popejohnpaul.com for the pictures.