Again, am not happy with the preliminary results of my A.P.E. Every year, they always find something wrong with me, and every year, it gets worse. I don't know if it's one way for the doctors to earn their doctor's fees but it really sucks.
First of all, I was not happy with the way they extracted blood from me. When I sat down to where the blood extraction was done, I readily offered my right arm as it is where I'm used to. But the nurse or med tech or whoever she was insisted that the left arm is ok. I was rather hesitant because I knew it was difficult to draw blood from my left arm (this is my third blood test this year--don't ask), but well, I can't very well argue with the person who's holding the needle. So I just closed m eyes, bit my lip and hope that they make it fast.
When I checked the spot a few hours later, I knew the medtech/nurse botched up the job since there was a big red/violet color all over the puncture wound (there was hematoma). Meaning the vein was traumatized from the needle. Not to mention my arm is hurting a bit--until now!
After the blood extraction, the nurse took my blood pressure. Imagine my shock when she said that it's 130/80. That has never happened to me before. I started to worry and things started to go downhill.
At the opthalmologist, I was told that my right eye has gone up to 500 from 450. At least my left eye is still at 450. Sigh. I really have to save for that laser surgery. I so need it.
And for the last check, the physical exam. The doctor managed to find a lump somewhere in my left breast. She said that it could just be hormones and will disappear after a few weeks. I was surprised since when my OB did an examination last September, she did not find anything. It did not stop me from worrying though. Have to schedule an appointment with my doctor ASAP.
So there you go. A high BP and a lump. I can't wait to get my blood test results. Oh and fairness to the BP, when I checked my BP again this afternoon, it's back to the normal 110/70. I'll have it checked again tomorrow. Just to be sure.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
A.P.E.
I'll be taking our Annual Physical Exam tomorrow. I'm a bit scared with the results since I was diagnosed with high levels of triglycerides, cholesterol and uric acid last year. Being the hard-headed girl that I am, especially in terms of food, I ignored my doctor's warnings and still ate what I should not be eating. Moreover, I think I gained weight ever since I moved to Paranaque since I'm being fed with rich Kapampangan food. Actually, I could handle that. I just don't like being diagnosed with high levels of blood sugar which can be indicative of diabetes. That I cannot take.
My 30th birthday is coming up. I hope this will be the mark for me to SERIOUSLY start losing weight. It's REALLY difficult and I envy people who can lose weight so easily. The problem with me is maintenance. I can start, but it's hard to maintain. Maybe somebody needs to diet/lose weight with me. I don't know. I don't know what else to do. Well-meaning people have sent me books and paraphernalia on the latest fad diets, yet, I haven't opened any of them. Why is it so difficult for me to say no to food? I must be suffering from some psychosis or neurosis. On the other hand, I could also be an emotional eater. Oh well.
My 30th birthday is coming up. I hope this will be the mark for me to SERIOUSLY start losing weight. It's REALLY difficult and I envy people who can lose weight so easily. The problem with me is maintenance. I can start, but it's hard to maintain. Maybe somebody needs to diet/lose weight with me. I don't know. I don't know what else to do. Well-meaning people have sent me books and paraphernalia on the latest fad diets, yet, I haven't opened any of them. Why is it so difficult for me to say no to food? I must be suffering from some psychosis or neurosis. On the other hand, I could also be an emotional eater. Oh well.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
So Be It
A month ago, I was asked to be one of the master of ceremonies for a debut of a friend at Mandaluyong. I readily agreed since I miss seeing my friends and I had nothing planned today.
When my friend reminded last week of the event, I felt rather uncomfortable in going and I actually wanted to back out. But since it was too late and it would seem bad of me to suddenly change plans, I arranged my schedule with Leo and went to Mandaluyong in the late afternoon.
It was great to see my surrogate mother and father again, as well as my goddaughter. It's been more than five months since I've seen them and we did a lot of catching up. One news that greatly saddened me was when I inadvertently learned that the parents of my godchild had some sort of misunderstanding/disagreement which caused the mother to move out. I still don't have the whole story yet since the guy is still emotional and when I saw the girl last week, she did not say anything. I don't know how to handle the situation as these two people are very dear to me. I played a significant part in getting them together and I even coordinated their church wedding (and as mentioned, primary godmother of their daughter)!
I still hope that they can still patch things up and not be another statistic.
When my friend reminded last week of the event, I felt rather uncomfortable in going and I actually wanted to back out. But since it was too late and it would seem bad of me to suddenly change plans, I arranged my schedule with Leo and went to Mandaluyong in the late afternoon.
It was great to see my surrogate mother and father again, as well as my goddaughter. It's been more than five months since I've seen them and we did a lot of catching up. One news that greatly saddened me was when I inadvertently learned that the parents of my godchild had some sort of misunderstanding/disagreement which caused the mother to move out. I still don't have the whole story yet since the guy is still emotional and when I saw the girl last week, she did not say anything. I don't know how to handle the situation as these two people are very dear to me. I played a significant part in getting them together and I even coordinated their church wedding (and as mentioned, primary godmother of their daughter)!
I still hope that they can still patch things up and not be another statistic.
Friday, November 25, 2005
How the years have passed....
I lifted this from Chuyie, who in turn, lifted it from Vince. Reading it made me reflect on my life as well. Just in time for my 30th birthday.
25 years ago
I just added this since I just found out that I'm 5 years older than Chuyie. Gosh, what was I doing when I was 5 years old? Ah yes, my twin sister and I were enrolled at Think N' Try. I think it's a tradition for our family to study in that small nursery school in San Antonio Village. I remember celebrating our birthday there with a cake with the Little Twin Stars as decoration. I still have a picture of that event with Mrs. Tugade in the background.
20 years ago
Gosh, when you grow older, your memory gets more blurry. When I was 10, I saw my cousins who were based in the US for the first time. They came over to visit and I bonded with Dawn, the middle child (and a smart one at that). They told me about their home and it made me want to visit them at California. I started dreaming of what I'll do there and even visiting Disneyland! Well, that dream became a reality a year later when I left for the US in 1987. I stayed there for 2 months! My relatives there did not want me to leave and have already made plans for me to stay and study there. My dad however, was adamant that I come home.
15 years ago
High school life. I was a nerd when I was in high school. We had this little barkada called the DPS which stands for Dead Poet's Society (we sometimes change it to "Pwet") for obvious reasons (yeah, we love the movie). There were 6 or 7 of us in the group: Pam, Atha, Kay, Rae, Ruth and me. Oh, and Len (Kay's friend), would join us from time to time. All of us, except for Kay and Len, belong to a special class that does outreach work (Religion Extension Class) at the school's adopted community (Apelo at Pasay). Also, I remember watching Mobsters with the group and drooling over Christian Slater (whatever happened to him?!). High school was fun but it wasn't until college that I discovered boys.
10 years ago
I graduated from college when I was 20. Well, 21 actually. I had more fun when I was in college. The friends that I made then are the ones who I still hang out with until now--to think that they're all guys! We call ourselves the Circle of 8--again for obvious reasons. I was a freshman when the guys took me under their claws---err---wings when I joined the student press. They taught me how to play D&D and other role playing games which earned me the title, Queen of RPG at the press room. The original circle of 8 was Allan (the cleric), Rico (the DM), Mariano (the fighter), Chris (the kender-thief), Max (the mage), Obey (the telepath), Mike (the ranger) and yours truly (the bard). Other members moved to another school/country and were replaced by Edy (the dwarf) and someone else. The circle is still intact and we see each other regularly (except for Obey who's in the US and Mariano who has his family and art). I also had my first boyfriend/love when I was in college. Gosh, I can't believe I was once young and stupid! But well, we grow and learn from our mistakes.
5 years ago
I joined my current employer 5 years ago. I was also in an inter-racial relationship that time and my SO then and I were already makings plans of being permanently together. Thus, when I took the job offer, I was not thinking of staying long term. Another thing, my family was starting to fall apart this year. It was then that we learned that we have a half-sister and my mom wanted to leave my dad. It was the most painful and traumatic feeling that I have ever experienced in my entire life. The feeling was worse compared to the pain of betrayal of a former boyfriend (I was two-timed!).
3 years ago
My SO and I broke up this year. Our relationship was a rocky and difficult one and we lasted four years in a long-distance relationship. We also broke up more than once and all those times, I was the one that instigated the break-up. Although the last one, which he initiated, I made sure was the last. My mom also flew to the US to find a new life. It was supposed to be a temporary fix--for her to earn enough to pay for the debts that our family business incurred causing them to declare bankruptcy--but she has somehow made more permanent.
2 years ago
I started entertaining thoughts of taking up postgraduate studies. An officemate encouraged me and with further prodding from my mom, I decided to go for it. Good thing I did because it was there that I met my current SO, Leo.
1 year ago
I was helping my siblings get ready for their church weddings. BJ, Che and Claudine already got married in court. BJ had his church wedding last December while Che had hers last January. It was also then that we learned that my mom has divorced my dad (in the US). Yes, are now a statistic of broken families.
A Week Ago
Was the last day of my OIC-ship. It was the most stressful experience I ever had at work. Made me question if I'm ready to be a manager.
Yesterday
Or was that the other day? I gave Leo his early Christmas gift. Clue? It's Razor thin.
Today
Had my Finman WCE. Not the worst exam I ever took--just difficult--since I barely know most of the subject matter. Had to do some serious self study. Also had dinner with Leo at the newly opened Good-ah (Open 25 hours a day) branch here at BF.
Makes me wonder what the next day/week will bring.
25 years ago
I just added this since I just found out that I'm 5 years older than Chuyie. Gosh, what was I doing when I was 5 years old? Ah yes, my twin sister and I were enrolled at Think N' Try. I think it's a tradition for our family to study in that small nursery school in San Antonio Village. I remember celebrating our birthday there with a cake with the Little Twin Stars as decoration. I still have a picture of that event with Mrs. Tugade in the background.
20 years ago
Gosh, when you grow older, your memory gets more blurry. When I was 10, I saw my cousins who were based in the US for the first time. They came over to visit and I bonded with Dawn, the middle child (and a smart one at that). They told me about their home and it made me want to visit them at California. I started dreaming of what I'll do there and even visiting Disneyland! Well, that dream became a reality a year later when I left for the US in 1987. I stayed there for 2 months! My relatives there did not want me to leave and have already made plans for me to stay and study there. My dad however, was adamant that I come home.
15 years ago
High school life. I was a nerd when I was in high school. We had this little barkada called the DPS which stands for Dead Poet's Society (we sometimes change it to "Pwet") for obvious reasons (yeah, we love the movie). There were 6 or 7 of us in the group: Pam, Atha, Kay, Rae, Ruth and me. Oh, and Len (Kay's friend), would join us from time to time. All of us, except for Kay and Len, belong to a special class that does outreach work (Religion Extension Class) at the school's adopted community (Apelo at Pasay). Also, I remember watching Mobsters with the group and drooling over Christian Slater (whatever happened to him?!). High school was fun but it wasn't until college that I discovered boys.
10 years ago
I graduated from college when I was 20. Well, 21 actually. I had more fun when I was in college. The friends that I made then are the ones who I still hang out with until now--to think that they're all guys! We call ourselves the Circle of 8--again for obvious reasons. I was a freshman when the guys took me under their claws---err---wings when I joined the student press. They taught me how to play D&D and other role playing games which earned me the title, Queen of RPG at the press room. The original circle of 8 was Allan (the cleric), Rico (the DM), Mariano (the fighter), Chris (the kender-thief), Max (the mage), Obey (the telepath), Mike (the ranger) and yours truly (the bard). Other members moved to another school/country and were replaced by Edy (the dwarf) and someone else. The circle is still intact and we see each other regularly (except for Obey who's in the US and Mariano who has his family and art). I also had my first boyfriend/love when I was in college. Gosh, I can't believe I was once young and stupid! But well, we grow and learn from our mistakes.
5 years ago
I joined my current employer 5 years ago. I was also in an inter-racial relationship that time and my SO then and I were already makings plans of being permanently together. Thus, when I took the job offer, I was not thinking of staying long term. Another thing, my family was starting to fall apart this year. It was then that we learned that we have a half-sister and my mom wanted to leave my dad. It was the most painful and traumatic feeling that I have ever experienced in my entire life. The feeling was worse compared to the pain of betrayal of a former boyfriend (I was two-timed!).
3 years ago
My SO and I broke up this year. Our relationship was a rocky and difficult one and we lasted four years in a long-distance relationship. We also broke up more than once and all those times, I was the one that instigated the break-up. Although the last one, which he initiated, I made sure was the last. My mom also flew to the US to find a new life. It was supposed to be a temporary fix--for her to earn enough to pay for the debts that our family business incurred causing them to declare bankruptcy--but she has somehow made more permanent.
2 years ago
I started entertaining thoughts of taking up postgraduate studies. An officemate encouraged me and with further prodding from my mom, I decided to go for it. Good thing I did because it was there that I met my current SO, Leo.
1 year ago
I was helping my siblings get ready for their church weddings. BJ, Che and Claudine already got married in court. BJ had his church wedding last December while Che had hers last January. It was also then that we learned that my mom has divorced my dad (in the US). Yes, are now a statistic of broken families.
A Week Ago
Was the last day of my OIC-ship. It was the most stressful experience I ever had at work. Made me question if I'm ready to be a manager.
Yesterday
Or was that the other day? I gave Leo his early Christmas gift. Clue? It's Razor thin.
Today
Had my Finman WCE. Not the worst exam I ever took--just difficult--since I barely know most of the subject matter. Had to do some serious self study. Also had dinner with Leo at the newly opened Good-ah (Open 25 hours a day) branch here at BF.
Makes me wonder what the next day/week will bring.
Four down, three to go
Took my Finman WCE today. I don't know if I passed but I was clueless in some computations. I can't believe it, to think this is my college major yet I suck! At least it's over and done with. I wish I feel that way with regards to my Prodman exam. We're scheduled to take it on the 16th of December! Imagine that?! And that's our company Christmas party! I don't want to miss that! Huhu.
Well, it just leaves Mansci, Eco and Prodman. At least I've passed the halfway mark already. Man, I just want this to be over!
Well, it just leaves Mansci, Eco and Prodman. At least I've passed the halfway mark already. Man, I just want this to be over!
Friday, November 18, 2005
Make or Break
A couple of weeks ago, my boss told me he's going on block leave. I was initially filled with excitement since it's a chance for me to prove myself (ahempowertripahem). Of course, there was trepidation since who knows what would happen in those two weeks. My boss did reassure me that he's just a phone call away and he's not leaving town.
On the start of my first week of OIC-ship, things were kinda ok. I was putting out fires left and right and I could still smile. My previous boss, AC, who's still with the company, talked to me and I was touched when she said that I should not hesitate to approach or disturb her if there's anything that I need. If anyone's picking a fight with us, I should tell her (she actually gave me permission to make "sumbong" to her. Of course, I only did that once. Nakakahiya naman). However, things started to take a downturn towards the end of the first week. I was expected to do things that was impossible to do and it was really SO stressful.
On the start of the second week, I was already counting the days until this Friday. Things started to get worse since the boss of my boss is also out of the office and referring concerns to them is getting to be more difficult. Moreover, the mother of one of my staff passed away last Tuesday. Other impossible and difficult things were referred to us and I could feel myself drawn so tight. Today, being the last day of the week, was the worse. I had a stress headache the whole day and my department was asked to finish some deliverables beyond the usual working hours. Not to mention, I had my Prodman WCE scheduled tonight!
So I just did what I had to do and hoped that nothing would explode at my face next week. At least my boss will be back next week so if other departments wants to raise an issue or complain about something, my boss will handle it.
I left the office beyond 6 pm hoping that the exam hasn't started yet. When I got to school, my headache got worse. After waiting for half an hour, the student secretary came out and said that our exam was cancelled for reasons I still can't understand. I should be relieved since I was not able to study as much as I should this week. However, I felt more frustrated and stressed since I still have to worry about it these coming weeks.
So I went back to the office and tried to get some more work done. I took a Paracetamol tablet but it did little to alleviate my headache. By the time Leo picked me up, I was ready to scream or cry, and in the privacy of Leo's car, I chose the latter. I broke down. I cried and I sobbed. I wailed and I weeped. I let go.
When I recovered a bit, I sent a text message again to AC, who helped me through some tight spots in the past couple of weeks. When she replied to my text, I started to cry once more. Leo thought that I was getting upset again, but I was just touched by the message. She said, "I have always believed in you Shine, you did well in your boss' absence in pulling the team together. Enjoy your weekend." That was the BEST thing I have heard in the last two weeks. Someone to just affirm and thank you for all the work you've done--even if she has nothing to do with your appraisal. Somehow, it made all the pain and stress so worth it. It feels great to know that someone who I greatly respect, believes in what I do and what I have done. It somehow nullified the feeling of incompetence that I was feeling earlier.
Now, I'm going to spend the weekend relaxing and pampering myself. I think I deserve it after all the stress I went through. Moreover, walking in the shoes of my boss made me think twice whether I would want to be in his shoes. I don't know if I'm strong enough, or smart enough, or "mataray" enough. I don't know how he (my current boss), does it but he deserves more than a pat in the back, for sure!
On the start of my first week of OIC-ship, things were kinda ok. I was putting out fires left and right and I could still smile. My previous boss, AC, who's still with the company, talked to me and I was touched when she said that I should not hesitate to approach or disturb her if there's anything that I need. If anyone's picking a fight with us, I should tell her (she actually gave me permission to make "sumbong" to her. Of course, I only did that once. Nakakahiya naman). However, things started to take a downturn towards the end of the first week. I was expected to do things that was impossible to do and it was really SO stressful.
On the start of the second week, I was already counting the days until this Friday. Things started to get worse since the boss of my boss is also out of the office and referring concerns to them is getting to be more difficult. Moreover, the mother of one of my staff passed away last Tuesday. Other impossible and difficult things were referred to us and I could feel myself drawn so tight. Today, being the last day of the week, was the worse. I had a stress headache the whole day and my department was asked to finish some deliverables beyond the usual working hours. Not to mention, I had my Prodman WCE scheduled tonight!
So I just did what I had to do and hoped that nothing would explode at my face next week. At least my boss will be back next week so if other departments wants to raise an issue or complain about something, my boss will handle it.
I left the office beyond 6 pm hoping that the exam hasn't started yet. When I got to school, my headache got worse. After waiting for half an hour, the student secretary came out and said that our exam was cancelled for reasons I still can't understand. I should be relieved since I was not able to study as much as I should this week. However, I felt more frustrated and stressed since I still have to worry about it these coming weeks.
So I went back to the office and tried to get some more work done. I took a Paracetamol tablet but it did little to alleviate my headache. By the time Leo picked me up, I was ready to scream or cry, and in the privacy of Leo's car, I chose the latter. I broke down. I cried and I sobbed. I wailed and I weeped. I let go.
When I recovered a bit, I sent a text message again to AC, who helped me through some tight spots in the past couple of weeks. When she replied to my text, I started to cry once more. Leo thought that I was getting upset again, but I was just touched by the message. She said, "I have always believed in you Shine, you did well in your boss' absence in pulling the team together. Enjoy your weekend." That was the BEST thing I have heard in the last two weeks. Someone to just affirm and thank you for all the work you've done--even if she has nothing to do with your appraisal. Somehow, it made all the pain and stress so worth it. It feels great to know that someone who I greatly respect, believes in what I do and what I have done. It somehow nullified the feeling of incompetence that I was feeling earlier.
Now, I'm going to spend the weekend relaxing and pampering myself. I think I deserve it after all the stress I went through. Moreover, walking in the shoes of my boss made me think twice whether I would want to be in his shoes. I don't know if I'm strong enough, or smart enough, or "mataray" enough. I don't know how he (my current boss), does it but he deserves more than a pat in the back, for sure!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Constantine and Mig
The Inquirer featured my favourite "idols" in their front page today. Constantine Maroulis (American Idol finalist) arrived in the same flight as Mig Ayesa (Inx's Rockstar finalist). I would very much want to catch Constantine in his shows but unfortunately, I won't be available during the times of his shows--both in Greenbelt and Town Center. Plus, I just realized that I don't adore him enough to jostle and wrestle with hundreds of other people just to see him. I guess I'll just admire him from afar (sigh).
As for Mig, he's early for his Dec. 1 concert since he was scheduled to sing in the Ad Congress closing. I wish I can watch all those concerts. Sigh.
Ah, speaking of the Ad Congress, their current radio ads are hilariously funny! There's the one with the diva singing "Per DTI permit 1007 series of 2005". But the one that really had Leo and I laughing our heads off was the one that had them using the name game to advertise generic names of medicines.
As for Mig, he's early for his Dec. 1 concert since he was scheduled to sing in the Ad Congress closing. I wish I can watch all those concerts. Sigh.
Ah, speaking of the Ad Congress, their current radio ads are hilariously funny! There's the one with the diva singing "Per DTI permit 1007 series of 2005". But the one that really had Leo and I laughing our heads off was the one that had them using the name game to advertise generic names of medicines.
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