Just got back from my annual retreat. It was actually a Singles for Christ (SFC) Metro Manila/Luzon Conference held at Clark Expo. This year's theme was "Masayang mag-SFC" (It's happy to be in SFC).
I left Manila, Saturday morning together with my chapter head and his wife and daughter, and my SO. We arrived at Clark after an hour and a half of travel and immediately threw ourselves to the morning's activities. I was prepared to sit down and listen to talks but apparently, the organizers had a different idea.
The whole morning was devoted to physical exercises akin to teambuilding. We, as a team, balanced balloons, went up an oil-slicked slide, formed ourselves into a square blindfolded, brain-stormed and over-analyzed a simple case, then went outside in the 12 o'clock sun to form the longest line.
It was physically taxing, moreover with the scorching heat. I'm happy that the SO gamely participated and only rested when I rested (which was more often than not since I had low endurance when it comes to physical activities). After the longest line, we hurried off to Fontana and I had a long luxurious shower. One of the speakers was right in saying that we are a low-sweat generation. We deplore being sweaty. We complain when it gets hot. Hey, I'm guilty of that. I believe what they wanted to point out was that, we can still have fun regardless of the heat and sweat. A person's character can be tested when he/she is placed under extreme conditions. In this case, staying cool even when the unbearable heat is beating down our heads and backs.
We promptly headed back around 4 pm. I was excited to listen to the talks but was disappointed when they gave way instead, to the competitions. I had to endure 2 competitions (SFC idol and a group dance contest) before the talks started (hey, the competitions were still enjoyable!). Unfortunately, just when the first talk started, our chapter head's daughter had to go home due to the cold (she's only 7 months!) and Leo and I were the designated drivers. On the way out, we were stopped by the organizers and almost refused to grant us permission to leave. Good thing I was with my chapter head so we managed to find the exit without being harassed.
I immediately told my chapter head that though the reason may be justified, I still found it (not allowing people to leave the conference site while the talks were going on) disrespectful. I may understand their decision if the conference were for YFC (Youth for Christ) delegates, but we are SFC members--supposedly adults. As adults, we should be responsible for our own actions. We should be mature enough to make our own decisions--decisions which have been molded and melded from other SFC activities prior to the event.
In this case, if we left the conference even if the talks are not yet over, our decision should be respected BUT we do have to live with the consequences of our actions (missing the good talks and sharings and losing the learnings that we may learn from them). Anyway, most of the people I know who goes to conferences join because of the talks and sharings. It is due to an emergency that we had to leave early (not to mention, I had one hell of a headache that night and the signs of a coming sore-eye). Thinking about it, maybe they just want people to stay to emphasize the importance of the talks (did I mention that they had the concessionaires stop selling food and other stuff as well?). But they were contradicting themselves when they were talking about free-will and respect and then they do that. (I might get a lecture here about obedience. Hehe).
Anyway, going back to the conference. I was still thankful because I enjoyed the songs of praises and worship. It's been a long time ever since my spirit was fed like that. My SO also joined the worship sessions (sans raising of hands). He's no stranger to such events since he and his family are also members of another religious organization (which came highly recommended by my sector head when I asked him about it). I also spent time with friends whom I have not seen for a long time due to work and school.
I have somehow reestablished my line to God. Even if there are a bit of static, I can somehow make out His voice now. That's a good thing. Leo and I also had a talk about my jealous moment. I managed to open my side and tell him how I felt. His explanation pacified me and he gave me a hug, telling me again and again how much he loves me (awwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!). It's a learning experience for me. Thanks for those who gave me advice on how to deal with this. Talking it over without hurling accusations and letting emotions rule surely made the thing easier to deal with. At least we managed to get that issue out of the way. That's another good thing.
Anyway, I should start working on my papers now. I should start on those things before I start panicking again. At least I'm glad that I somehow managed to renew myself spiritually now. Hopefully, I will be able to sustain this so I can reflect it on my work and school life.
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