Thursday, February 24, 2011

Test of Faith

My faith has never been tested as it is being tested now.

For the first time in my life, I'm beginning to lose faith in the Catholic religion and all that it stands for. I don't know if it's only a group people who is ruining it for me, or the actual Church itself. But I am seriously thinking of either moving to a different parish or worse comes to worse, convert to another religion.

I was raised a Catholic--I studied in Catholic schools from Prep to my MBA. I believe in God, our Creator; I believe in Jesus Christ, His Son who died for our sins; I believe in Mother Mary; I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection etc etc.

I was part of a catholic organization during my 20's and my relationship with God was at its highest during that time. Praise and worship are my favorite activities as I get to give thanks for all the blessings that I have received.

In other words, I am a Catholic through and through.

My test of faith started last year when the RH bill brouhaha happened. The barangay/parish where we live has taken a VERY active stance against the RH bill. Every Sunday, they would find ways to interject the parish's violent objection to the bill and I'm just sick of it. I understand where they're coming from--what I can't stomach is how they twist everything to make it look that the RH bill is the most evil thing in the world. They pass out leaflets saying things against the bill which is FAR from the truth. They interpreted it based on how they want to see it without actually seeing what it's for.

I'm tired of how they're shoving THEIR truths down my throat.

My husband said I should just ignore the anti-RH bill segments during the mass but it's so hard for me when I have these negative feelings in my heart. I cannot anymore listen to the homily because I cannot bear to hear another twisted truth. Everytime they say the prayer against anti-life, I just want to walk out.

I don't know if I am right to feel this way or if I'm really sinning against God for going against our parish or if I'm really condoning abortion (the way I see it) by supporting the RH bill. But I just feel so unsettled that there is something not right about this.