I'm so frustrated today. I feel like a pingpong ball.
I have a report that's due for submission. It was assigned to one unit and suddenly, they're saying that it's not their responsibility on the day of my deadline. It's just so frustrating and I'm at wits end trying to figure out what to do. I've already extended a helping hand to help them figure things out and they're still at an impasse.
If I still won't get any results tomorrow, will definitely escalate.
I must really need a break. Noticed that the first emails that I sent this morning started off with apologies when there's no reason for me to apologize.
Moreover, I had to take a deep breath everytime I open my emails in the morning.
There must be a better way for me to deal with all the stress.
It's Day 12 of my morning walk.
Lately, I've been stopping more often and took pictures of anything that caught my interest. Of course, I ensure that the pictures that I take are of public places and not to make it look like I'm taking a picture of another person's house. There are times that the flowers are too nice to miss so I ensure I frame out the house.
The picture on the left was taken at 5:57AM. This is St. James the Great Parish church. This was also where my husband and I got married almost 14 years ago. I wish I took a better picture but I was after the sunrise and I was not even sure how to fix the camera settings. I would think that this turned out okay.
I was walking pretty slow today. My average heart rate barely reached 120bpm and I felt like I was dragging my feet. There were times that I would want to just sit in front of one of the grottos and just space out.
I should take a vacation before the actual audit comes. I need to get my head on straight. I know I can do this. I have to do this. Deep breaths. I can do this.
The problem with WFH is that social interaction became very much limited.
Previously, it was easy to let off steam or stress. I would walk it off outside the building or head off to the workstation of any of my colleagues and just take a minute to breathe.
Nowadays, it's difficult to do that. I try to separate my work from my family life but since I'm in the house, more often than not, one overlaps with the other.
I try to manage the stress by going for a walk every morning but it's different when you have someone to talk it out with. However, I think I've reached the point if I try to talk it out, I'll just breakdown. And considering that we have a very important deadline on Friday, I can't afford to breakdown. Maybe afterwards...
In the meantime, will concentrate on breathing and taking it one day at a time.
I was preparing the program for my boss' send-off last night and I stalked people's FB for pictures of him to include in the AVP.
Though it's been more than a year since this virus has wreaked havoc in our world, it's only now that I realized how things have really changed and I'm still trying to process my feelings about it. Case in point, the photos that I found. Out of all the 70 pictures that I managed to find, there's only one wherein I was included. Not surprising as I've been only reporting to him for only a year and majority of which was spent online due to the WFH arrangement.
All of them featured him with different colleagues, eating out or at events or even playing sports. None of those we can do today. We were lucky to have lunch with him last Christmas but that was it. Now all that I have as a remembrance of the best boss I ever had was his email archive which he has left with me.
I also realized how clingy and dependent I am with my boss which is expected as it's the first time I was out of my comfort zone for 8 years. I had him to guide me through the rough patches and made us achieve all that we have accomplished. But I guess it's time that I let go and weather through all this on my own. I would want to think that he left me with enough learnings to make the right and appropriate decisions.
