Monday, May 01, 2006

Family Ties

It's been almost a month since my last post. Well the reason obviously, is my DSL. The reason why I was able to post religiously last month was that I had papers due (individual and group) and to do that, I had to meet with my groupmates at a place with DSL connection (either Bon or Leo's houses). Good thing that my cousin gave me a wifi card for my laptop. Ever since my last submission, never had the opportunity or chance to go to a wifi place to update my blog. Besides, Leo's on shifting since a couple of weeks ago and I had to commute going home to Paranaque.

I don't like commuting long distances (30-45 minutes is long) moreover if I'm alone (not counting the other passengers). I tend to get lost in my thoughts and it can get quite depressing. By the time I get home (which is around 8 or 9 pm--depending on what time I leave the office), not only am I physically tired, but emotionally drained as well. Leo's European time shift will finish by the end of the month. I can't wait till then. At least Leo and I have lunch together once during the week.

Other than tattletales (or those who can't keep their mouths shut when it comes to secrets), I realized that I can't abide irresponsible people. People who have no sense of responsibility whatsoever! AND what makes matters worse is if I have to take the burden because the person who was supposed to be responsible did not do anything about it. It just plain sucks. I know I should not judge and there must be a reason why a person failed to live up to his/her commitment, but it's difficult to put myself in the other person's shoes when the situation could have been prevented in the first place! What makes the situation more frustrating is that it involves family.

You know, you can never choose which family you are born into and at times, I would want to blame my parents or my grandparents for not raising their children properly, BUT, this is family. Though at times you want to turn your back on them, bottom line is they are still family. What is it that ties me to them? What is it that makes me say yes to favours when I know it will inconvenience (and cost) me big time? Is it because they know I'm the dependable and responsible one? It really really sucks. I know I could always say NO, but my conscience won't let up on me. I did say no once but the family played up the guilt until I broke down and gave in, even dragging my SO into the fray. There are times that I wish I can live far and away or by myself to at least distance myself from the ties. Heck, I know they'll still find a way to get to me. Though I want to complain sometimes when another favour is foisted upon me, I just bite my tongue and do the favour. If I do complain, I might be called ungrateful or "walang kwenta" (no use). Come to think of it, I have been called that and it still smarts up to now.

Right now, the only family I really acknowledge right now is Leo. It's the reason why I love him so much. He accepts and takes me for what I am and loves me--flaws and all. He tolerates my family though and sometimes allows himself dragged into doing the favour because he understands why I had to do those things (it does not mean he's happy about it though, but he still does it).

But family is family. Though how convoluted the relationships might be, they are still family and I guess it's just something that I have to learn to live with.

Speaking of family, my sisters graduated last April 10, finally getting their nursing degrees. What makes the event more notable was that they finished 9th and 10th place in their batch. With Claudine getting the former and Cheryll getting the latter. Claudine's US embassy interview is scheduled on June which means she won't be able to take the board exam. Cheryll, however, will be taking it and if she passes, she'll have the initials R.N. added to her name together with D.M.D. Yep, she's a practising dentist but left the dentist-ing to her husband while she studied to become a nurse hoping to get a job in the US. I really can't blame them. They all want a better life for their families and their offsprings.

Oh yeah, pictures of my nephew Miguel's baptism can be seen at my fotopage site. Miguel is the son of my sister Cheryll and her husband, Mhon.

1 comment:

Ivy said...

does this mean youre back online for good? na miss kita ha! for your entry...well yah whats that saying you can't choose your family but that is why God gave you friends? so i hope you don't think na Leo is your only family....DUH dami mo friends no! and in fairness maski na may pagka deadma ang boyf mo at ayaw ako i accept sa friendster nya (pagalitan mo nga!) i am so glas na he is nice to you and accepts you flaws and all. guess you both are lucky coz you found one another....lintek lang kamo sya pag pinaiyak ka nya hahahaha....wala pa rin bang ring?