Breakdown

I had sort of a breakdown yesterday. I knew my day yesterday would not be great when I woke up at 4 am due to a work-related though. I could not sleep afterwards as my mind was already thinking of what I'll be doing that day at work. When I got to work, I saw one of the departments that I was working with and pitched an idea to her. Next thing I knew, she was going off-tangent and giving out advice. They were not negative things at all and what she was saying was reasonable enough, however, I must be more tired than I thought that I felt sad after we talked. I just felt so off that it carried on throughout the day and I asked SO that we go home early.

Leo was promptly at the ground floor to pick me up at 6 pm. Once I got in his car, I started crying softly. It carried on until we got home and I still kept on crying. Heck, I was crying until I fell asleep at 11 pm!

When I woke up this morning, I felt very much better. It's true when they say that a good night's sleep really cures a lot of things and in my case, it cured my depression for sure! I was just frustrated with my job and my life. My job because of all the expectations heaped on me and doing my job without proper orientation, and my life because also of the expectations of my family and relatives. I harbored thoughts of being inefficient and incompetent that I started believing it. I know that I am where I am because people believed in me and my capabilities. I am not incompetent, just not properly trained. Thank God it's Friday!

Permanent Internet Access

Finally, have internet access here at work. Actually, I had the choice earlier of having the internet installed in my workstation per se. But I opted not to as it may lead me into temptation. Hehe. We just opted to have a dedicated workstation for our internet. At least it's here in our area and just for our unit's use. Am happy with that.

Six Months

It's been six months since I started my diet and exercise program. People have already noted how much weight I've lost. I think I've lost 20 lbs total so I have 30 more to go. I was surprised when I visited the gym this Monday to do an assessment with my trainer. It seems that I lost 5 lbs last month although my fat percentage remains the same. I don't mind though. At least am losing the lbs.

I bought a new pair of blouse and pants last month. I need more than a pair to supplement my shrinking wardrobe. I also need to buy a new pair of jeans. Now that jeans are part of our wardrobe, I can charge it versus my clothing allowance although at last count, I've exceeded the allowable disbursed amount. Oh well.

I have 11 months to go before my deadline. I hope I meet it.

On Hold

My life is on hold right now. I have a couple of big things that am waiting to happen in order for me to move on. First is a big project/event at work which will involve our unit. If things will happen as expected, it will happen on September and the results of that will determine the direction of where my career will go next year.

Second is a decision that we have to make which will also affect my life next year. We hope to make that decision if not by this month, then next month. So until those things happen, I have to put off making important decisions until September.

Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head

It has been raining everyday for the past week. I welcome it though. I love the rain. I don't know why it's so soothing, but it makes me sleep better. I haven't been able to sleep properly the past week due to work concerns, that's why when the weekend rolled over, I slept for 8 to 10 hours every night. Just last night, I slept for almost 12 hours! Now that's a record for me.

Come to think of it, I need some relaxation techniques. As mentioned, I could not sleep properly the past week as I was thinking of work everytime I close my eyes. I have to relax else I will lose sleep! I decided to have a massage Friday night hoping it will help me sleep, but after the massage, my thoughts kept drifting back to work! Good thing I was so exhausted Saturday night that I immediately fell asleep when I collapsed on the bed. Hopefully tonight, I can get more sleep to help me survive the week.

Don't get me wrong. I love my work. I just did not realize how much thinking it entails. I was so used to doing routinary work and thinking at a micro level, that am having difficulty adjusting to my current tasks. My mind is churning ideas and figuring out possible loopholes all day long that it takes awhile before it stops for the night. I talk to different people everyday and am practically everywhere. I keep my cellphone with me all the time in case any of my bosses or colleagues needs me.

Watched Superman last week. I so want to drool over Brandon Routh. We also watched Pirates of the Carribean: Dead's Man Chest yesterday. Great movie although I made the mistake of going to the restroom in the last part of the movie (when Capt. Jake Sparrow was swallowed by the kraken and Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly was on their way to see the witch to find a way to bring Jack back), thus I missed the ending. When I came out of the restroom, the credits were rolling. Argh! I can't wait to see the last installment of the trilogy next year.

It's A Rainy Day, It's A Rainy Day

I'm a Sesame Street Kid. I grew up on Sesame Street. I remembered my mom or was that my grandmother who had this warehouse at Makati--right beside Pasig River--where they stored imported books. I'd remembered scampering up the piles and open the boxes filled with wonderful wonderful books. I'd inhale the smell of new books and try to read one with my mom catching me.

I don't know why, but they'd bring whole a boxful of books and I remember going gaga over them. I remember having the sesame street books series. The topic above came from the Sesame Street tv show. It's the first thing I thought of when the rain came pouring down this morning. It's the perfect weather to settle down and take a nap or watch dvd's.

Which reminds me, I have to bookmark that Sesame Street site that I found before and now I found again. It's a nice site to remember all those lyrics of long-forgotten Sesame Street songs that have somehow stuck in the dark recesses of my brain.

As previously mentioned, it's raining right now. I have to confirm though if there's a storm. Leo and I plan to watch Superman tomorrow at Mall of Asia. I hope we can get seats. We have already reserved tickets for Pirates of the Carribean. Now that's something else that am looking forward to.

Man, I can't believe that it's already July. Half of the year has passed which means, it's less than 5 months till Christmas and 3 months till Halloween. We're all excited over that as I plan to bring my nephew and niece back to the office for the trick o' treat. It's always a big thing at work and we're excited over what costumes the two kids will wear. As Miguel is quite big now, he's going to be very adorable wearing a piglet costume, or probably a pumpkin costume. We'll just see what's available. Chloe would look angelic in an angel costume or probably a fairy costume. We'll just see.



Man, I would want my kids to grow up on Sesame Street.

What a Week!

It's been quite a last week of June.

My sister left for the US last Thursday. It was nerve-wracking though. Her interview went as scheduled last June 19 and she was supposed to receive her US Visa 5 days later so she set her departure date for the 27th. However, when the 26th came, her visa was nowhere in sight. She had to cancel her flight and tentatively rebooked it for the next day. Fortunately, her visa arrived on the 28th enabling her to leave on the 29th. I went to their house in Quezon City last Tuesday to bid her farewell and also to attend the despedida of the sister of my brother-in-law who's also leaving for the US. Anyway, am glad she finally got her dream and is now happyily together with her husband. I wish them all the best.

Last Friday, I played referee between two people at work. We were called to attend a meeting with managers of two other departments present. Two departments that have always been at odds with each other. Well that Friday, they chose the time to really have words and they were shouting each other already. As the third party, I calmed everyone down. It was difficult as the other person involved used to be my boss. I tried to be as rational and calm as could as I don't want to be accused of taking sides. After that incident, I was pretty shaken up myself and if I was the type to smoke, I would've taken a drag then and there just to calm my nerves.

As for yesterday, the company had an outreach activity at SOS Alabang. At least it's near and I could come and go as I please. I was there early so I was able to help with the preparations. I had one of my officemates take me to Leo's afterwards where I waited for him to wake up. She picked me up an hour later so we could have coffee at Gloria Jean's. We talked for an hour before I returned to Leo's house.

Also watched "The Wedding Date" yesterday on DVD. Dermot Mulroney is absolutely SOOOOOOOO scrumptious and delicious. *sigh*