Yaya's Day Off

Our yaya is entitled to a day off once a month. For this month, she took it last night and returned this evening.

Though the day-off is part of our agreement, there's a silent part of me that wants to beg her to stay. Basti is a handful already. You cannot take your eyes off him as he'll be destroying something. His bedroom is Basti-proof but unfortunately, not the rest of the house. But I figured it will be a nice bonding experience for us.

Last night, I wanted to cry when after two hours, Basti didn't want to sleep and he was growing cranky by the minute. My usual tricks doesn't seem to work and makes his crankiness worse. I felt so helpless last night and was so depressed afterwards. I so envy my friends who have developed some sort of bond with their kids that putting them to sleep won't drain their blood as what happened to me and Basti last night.

I questioned our sleeping arrangement (he sleeps in his own bed and room with his yaya) and whether he should sleep with us or not. In the end, he fell asleep cradled in my arms while dancing around the room. He would wake up and start crying whenever I would sit down on the rocking chair or on the bed. My arms were crying out for mercy and I was so thankful when he finally slept.

However, he woke up at midnight crying again and I could not console him. He struggled to be let down and slid down to the pull-out bed where he immediately fell asleep. I slept after that only to wake up at 430 AM for his milk feeding. He slept after finishing 7oz only to wake me up a couple of hours later as he slid down from the bed.

We went downstairs for breakfast and I gave him a bowl of rice and egg where he fed himself (he wants to use the utensils and doesn't like it if we feed him). The food ended up half on the floor, on his clothes and chair and hopefully, the rest in his tummy.

Kindermusik this morning was bearable because Leo did most of the chasing. Lunch was the same as breakfast (with half of the food again on the floor etc). Thankfully, he fell asleep without not much fuss for his afternoon nap (Oddly enough, I just talked to him and begged him to just sleep without the dancing and rocking because I was exhausted and my arms could not take another round of that. He seemed to understand me as he just fell asleep on the bed cuddled beside me).

While reflecting on my exhausting day, I really admire the moms out there who survive without a helper. My sister who is based in the US, is one such person. Now I understand why mothers really are very affected when their children do something to hurt them.

I hope I can find more ways to bond with my son. I might have to change the house rules a bit so I can have more time with him.