Wake Me Up When January Ends

We just want January to end. 

Though it has brought me good news, but it's been quite a ride this start of 2020.

First of all, there was Taal Volcano's phreatic eruption on Jan. 12 which blanketed most of Manila with ashfall and forced the evacuation of all towns within its 14km radius. Philvocs raised the alert level 4 which means that eruption was imminent. It made us all wary and nervous until a couple of days ago, they reduced the alert level to 3.

However, we then had to face the worldwide health crisis of the Novel Corona Virus--a deadly virus within the family of SARS and MERS. Infection has no started and has spread to other countries. Being a warm and tropical country, we're hoping that the virus will not reach our shores. 

And just this morning, we had to deal with the tragic death of one of NBA's legends, Kobe Bryant. Though I'm not a basketball fan, I can't help but she a tear after reading the tributes. Many people were devastated by his passing as well as that of his 13-year old daughter that died along with him.

Hopefully, we'll have enough time to breathe before the next tragedy hits us. If there's one thing I know, people, especially us Filipinos, are very resilient. We'll all get through this.  

Intellectually Yours

I'm beginning to immerse myself into my new role and I, including my brain, am happy.

I miss using my brain. Don't get me wrong. I did use my brain in my past role but since it's been something that I've been doing for almost two decades, my decisions are automatic and does not require maximum brain power.

But now, I've gone back to my researcher roots. Information that I've thought I've forgotten are resurfacing and I'm actually using them to make decisions.

I'm also having a grand time organizing my lean team and finding a place for everything. As everything is digital, I was able to create a system where deadlines can be tracked and information can be easily retrieved.

I'm also more careful now in my decision making as I know whatever I do or say carry weight. Hopefully, I can maintain this momentum.

What is Success?

I was going through my old blog posts (and when I mean old, around mid-2000s old) and I was surprised with my eloquence. I didn't know I could write that well when now, I could barely write a complete sentence with correct grammar (and when I reread that sentence, I already saw something wrong).

It made me wonder what happened to my story-telling skills. I tried my hand a couple of years back in writing stories but that somehow disappeared when I gave birth to my second child. Maybe life happened? I'm not sure but I miss being able to write as much as I wanted. Maybe my creativity got buried under the guise of formal business correspondence?

Anyway, I went through my old blogs and found something interesting. I wrote this around November 2006---13 years ago.

So what really drives me? What do I consider as a success?

I am an intellectual person. As long as I am doing something that enables me to learn regularly, I'm a happy camper. Success is also not measured through material wealth or promotions. Success for me is reaching my full potential and being able to use all the talents that God has given me. Success for me is measured by meeting the objectives set AND surpassing them; to see how far I can be stretched; to see how far I can go.

It made me reflect if the definition still stands until now. Probably, maybe that's the reason why I made this move--so I can reach my full potential. However, in my goodbye letter to my team leaders, I wrote this:

My definition of success is not how far I've grown but how far my people have grown. Even if I'm no longer in Credit, I want to see you guys grow. I want to witness your success and victories and be there for you when you fail so I can show you where you can learn. Only then can I say that I'm successful. 

The first definition of success was a bit self-centered and I understand that. But after managing teams of people for the past decade, my definition somewhat changed and it's something I can relate more to now.

However, I can always aim for both. I am, after all, an achiever.

Tired but still Grateful

Even if the effectivity of my new role is not until Monday, I'm already attending meetings and immersing myself into the intricacies of my new job. One thing's for sure, it's not boring and would challenge my brain. It's definitely a thinking job and one that my mind appreciates.

I'll be doing a lot of reading and creative thinking. Now if I can only get a law degree, it would be so much better!

Grateful

After eight long years, I'll be leaving my comfort zone and will be trying something new.

The work is not relatively new but it's heavy enough to bring my downfall if I fail or lift me to new heights if I succeed.

I'm very excited with this new role but the feeling I have right now is more of sadness. I'll be leaving my team--my family for the past eight years. I had to talk to three sets of people (including my boss) and I cried in each and everyone of those conversations.

Maybe what made me emotional was the abruptness of the change. My move will take effect by next week. My bosses have identified my replacement and we have started our turnover.

I will really miss my team and our synergy. I will miss managing people even though they've contributed to the proliferation of white hairs on my head.

I take on this new challenge with an open heart and open mind. My reading prowess and comprehension will be duly tested.

I am beyond grateful and forever thankful.