Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Love According to Neil Gaiman

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your
heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build
up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so
nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other
stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...you give them a piece of
you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss
you or smile at you and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes
hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in
the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends"
or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way
into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the
mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets inside you and rips you
apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love.

From Sandman:The Kindly Ones, Neil Gaiman.

The above quote came from one of Neil Gaiman's books. I've forgotten
who forwarded it to me but when I read it, it somehow struck a chord.

Where am I?

I was lucky to have a good seat in the shuttle this morning. I had a
place where I can rest my head so that I can catch up on sleep on my
way to work. So I plugged in my earphones and let the music lull me to
sleep.

After a few minutes, a girl in an exclusive girls' school uniform got
in and sat beside me. I blinked at her and went back to sleep. A few
minutes later, the door opened and I suddenly heard people giggling. I
opened my eyes and the two girls apparently know each other and they
started giggling and laughing. I thought it will just be a momentary
thing but they were giggling and laughing throughout the 30 minute
trip. The bad thing was, I could hear them through my earphones (and
my music was loud) and one of the girls was seating beside me and she
kept on jostling me whenever she would laugh or giggle. I wanted to
tell them to shut up and the "nice" side of me kept on telling me that
they are just girls. I then started to think when I was when I was
their age. I realized than I must've been laughing and giggling as
well if I saw an old friend. I must've been caught up with the
intricacies of life that I've forgotten what it feels to be carefree.
I suddenly felt so OLD!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

My Summer Memories

I got the idea for this post from my friend Cessna's blog. She said she's not particularly fond of wet markets and depends on SM supermarket for her wet market needs. However, I guess I'm the opposite.

No, I don't make it a hobby of trudging or visiting all the wet markets around the Metro. I guess I just have good memories of those places. When we were kids, particularly around the elementary age, my parents would send us to the province to spent the summer. My aunt or grandmother would go to the wet market everyday to buy fresh meat, fish or vegetables to serve for lunch and dinner. I would gladly accompany her. I don't know why but I find myself fascinated whenever she would buy live catfish and have the vendor clean and chop it for her. Hmmm...that speaks volumes of my personality. Must be some Freudian thing. But, the best thing about the wet market in the province is when we would stop by the sweets store. Note that a provincial sweets/chichiria store rarely sell those imported candies. They sell the locally made ones and they're not even branded. I forgot what some of them are called but I love this small round yellow sweet thing. It's like a cookie but it's too soft. Also there's a sweet candy called "tira-tira". It's basically brown sugar molded into sticks. And the local cheese curls. I forgot the brand but they're sold in little packets and you can buy them in bulk (like 20-30 pcs in one big plastic).

My best memory of our summer is when our ice cream "suki" would pass by. We call him "lapit-suki". I innocently thought that it was his name but apparently, it's just something that he keeps saying again and again and my aunts just call him that. Anyway, he sold really creamy ice cream. It's so good that instead of buying a cone, we'd bring out our glasses and have him fill those up. And during fiestas or any celebration, my lolo would buy one whole can of ice cream (his favourite is langka. mmmmm...yummy). The can is not the ordinary 1 kl can you can buy in the supermarket. It's the long silver one. I don't know how much ice cream that holds but it can certainly feed all of us.

Actually, it's not only summer that we get to go to the province. My maternal grandparents and relatives have a big house in the province. Big enough for their brood of 13--most of them married. So every weekend, or every summer, we would get picked up and my siblings and I would join some cousins for a nice short/long vacation. As there were so many of us, we would never get bored or find nothing to do. We have relatives all around Batangas so we'd take trips to visit them, and we'd bring back food in the process. We would bring back a kaing of lanzones and eat them in front of the TV. My grandparents also owned a betamax rental then, so we'd bring home the latest movie (Night of the Living Dead--that certainly caused me some sleepless nights there. It did not help that the room that I shared with my relatives overlooked a wide expanse of lawn and I was calculating the distance of the house from the cemetery) and watch it while eating green mangoes (either with bagoong or with my favourite dip--soy sauce with sugar!). The house also has two bathtubs and we'd fill up one and soak in it with our cousins.

That big house really holds wonderful memories of my childhood. Too bad it's not the same as it was before. Everything changed when my grandfather died fifteen years ago. Though my grandmother is still alive, her health began to deterioriate after his death. She's based in the US now and she'll probably stay there for good. She doesn't have the strength or stamina to endure the long travel back home.

I remember my relatives and I would be sitting at the marble front steps in the late afternoon or early evening with my grandparents. We'd play games or hold contests there to amuse ourselves (cable was non-existent back then). The front lawn was so wide that we can play tag or any outdoor game imaginable with lots of room to spare. I'd lose out on "monkey-monkey" (I was not a very good runner), but I loved the "luksong tinik" or "piko".

It was in the province that I learned to do household chores. My grandfather did not tolerate slackers and he ran a tight ship. He would have us cleaning the house, the garden and there was even a time, had us help with the slaughtering of the chickens (they had a poultry farm at the back of the house, beside a small piggery). He did not exactly had us do the killing, but we had the distasteful task of dipping the chickens in boiling water and pulling out the feathers. Aaaaaaahhhh!!! I must have a strong stomach because am still eating chicken up to now.

As we did not have any nannies back then, we had to do our own laundry and make our own beds. My siblings and I would wash our clothes by hand at the back of the house. I did not worst job of all compared to my sisters. They would patiently scrub or make "kusot" their clothes while I, taking the easy way out, would stomp on them, mimicking the washerwomen at the small river nearby with their "pamalo".

Those were the days indeed. I wish my future children would have the same experiences that I had. It has certainly helped me in more ways than one.

Virus Free

Apologies to my friends/relatives who supposedly received email from me containing attachments with virus. I don't think there's anything wrong with my office computer. I know I did not download anything last Thursday and the anomaly started when I used a computer at an internet cafe. I don't know though why the originating address is my office email address though. It's so disconcerting.

Nothing noteworthy happened much this week. My sister passed her interview and she's leaving on Tuesday. We're having a despedida for her tonight. My whole family is staying at BF tonight until tomorrow. There are plans going to Tagaytay tomorrow although I don't know if that would push through. We don't know where were going to go there. Unless we end up again having a picnic at People's Park.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Happy Father's Day

Visited my Lolo and my Dad last Sunday at Makati. I was very worried about my lolo. His recent check-up showed that he has an enlarged heart and with hypertension. Surgery is an option but he refused as he said he's old already and he's ready to go. Am glad though that he enjoyed the shirt I gave him. He's so proud of his roots that he was very delighted with the shirt that says "Proudly Kapampangan". I hope I can get him more stuff that can give him joy. He deserves to be happy.

It was also nice seeing my dad. I gave him his favourite pastry sweet and he was likewise happy to see me. My brother also arrived with his family and my niece has grown. She's walking now and she has gained weight.

Leo and I left after lunch to catch "The Lakehouse" at Greenbelt 3. The film's ok, though there are some parts where it's dragging, but still ok.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

New Job

My new job is getting more interesting, meetings aside. My boss was right in saying that there won't be any meeting wherein I'm not invited. In fact, not a day goes by when I'm not in some meeting. The more high-level the meeting, the longer it usually lasts. My meeting yesterday started at 330 pm and when I left at 630 pm, they were still at it. There are times when I'd just zone out, but most of the time, they talk about interesting stuff. I get to see the business at macro-level which made me appreciate my job and the business more. Am definitely taking this job more seriously.

Moreover, I'll be doing audit and spot checks. Am going to visit the branches (hmmm...wonder if they'll send me to Cebu) and agencies. It will not doubt, be very interesting. Some say that it's a very stressful and dirty job but as of now, I'm enjoying it.

Cute na cute na Miguel

My twin sister, in preparation for her departure, has been making scrapbooks featuring pictures of her friends and family. This picture was taken last week while she was playing with our nephew, Miguel. He is such an adorable baby. Miguel Lorenzo is now 4 months old. Seems my siblings have been very prolific in producing such adorable babies. I remembered going gaga over my niece, Chloe, a few months back.

Here is another picture. I asked my twin sister to have these photos printed out and to give me a copy. I'll no doubt, be showing the pics to anyone who has the misfortune of being in my area of influence :) When the pictures were sent to my office email, I showed all my departmates and even my former departmates. One even wanted to make it her wallpaper as one can forget his/her worries just by looking at the pictures.