Destined To Be Yours?

Yes, the question mark was intentional. Though I know this will have a happy ending, the way the story is going makes me question that belief.

I'm not a regular viewer of teleseryes. Come to think of it, I cannot recall when I was so hooked into a local drama series--one that I would watch regularly. I also do not watch Korea novelas which seems to be the in thing nowadays. I did not even go through the Meteor Garden phase which most of my contemporaries seem to love.

However, I made an exception to this teleserye of Alden and Maine, Destined To Be Yours, for the fact that I'm an avid fan of the two. Ever since ALDub was born, we have always longed for a teleserye for them on top of a movie. So when reports came out that they will be doing one, we were all overjoyed.

The series actually started end of February and the premise was promising. Maine played Sinag, a country lass from a fictional artistic town called Pelangi. Alden played Benjie, an architect whose family wants to build a resort in the hometown of Sinag.


The first weeks were entertaining enough and I was looking forward for the two protagonists to meet. And when they did, you could hear the ALDub Nation collectively sigh and swoon. And then things went downhill. The plot became convoluted and the storyline deviated from the premise. Moreover, they introduced a third party to drive the story which was somewhat formulaic of teleseryes. As fans tend to be overprotective of their love team, everyone was up in arms.

I really don't know how to feel about this. Some were really furious as they felt that the teleserye was not well written and was a wasted effort of Alden and Maine. In my case, I take this with a grain of salt. Maybe because I knew teleseryes would tend to be cut-and-dried so I did not really have high expectations on this project.

Putting aside the story, the supporting cast was really good. I'm really hating the antagonists, which is the right emotion to be invoked. Yes, there are so many of them! Maybe they're there to drive the point that even if there are people holding the main characters from each other, destiny will find a way for the two of them to be together. (Why do I want to throw up after typing that?). Ina Feleo's Catalina is the best of them, in my opinion, because I could understand what drives her character. But the others? I can only just scratch my head and wonder if the role was meant to confuse the viewer.

Another stand-out is Janice de Belen's character, Sally, the mother of Sinag. She literally stands out because of our bright pink hair. I felt that her role was consistently written and I could depend on her to react the right way. Of course, being Janice de Belen (I remember seeing her act during her Flordeluna days), her acting was smooth and just right. I really saw her as the doting mother and supportive wife and she played it to the T.

Lotlot de Leon, who played Benjie's mother, was also a revelation as I never saw her act in dramas before. During the early episodes, I could sympathize with her and her crying also brought tears to my eyes. But lately, her actions have been confusing me. Not consistent on how she was built up.

But my favorite characters (other than Benjie and Sinag) are Jason, the bestfriend of Benjie played by Dominic Roco and Ninay, the bestfriend of Sinag played by Sheena Halili. Amusingly, they are the ones whose actions seem logical and apt for their roles and the story. You want to cheer them on as they help their respective bestfriends.


Regardless of the irregularities and the irritating plot, I enjoyed the show because I get to see my beloved couple on a daily basis. They are my happy pill and seeing them do scenes with each other (whether they are heartbreaking scenes or kilig scenes), are enough for me. I take refuge in the fact that they bonded while shooting and that Maine has greatly improved in her acting. This was a good vehicle for her to develop her talent and skill.

There are news that they will have a movie after this and I can't wait for that. Imagine You and Me, their first movie, was well done (kudos Direk Mike!). With Maine's newly honed acting prowess, I can't wait to see what she can do with Alden.

ps.
I usually live tweet my reactions while I watch. Do follow me at twitter @sunshi_fairy

Post Partum Depression Is Not a Myth

I belong to an online mommy community where most of the members are breastfeeding advocates. It was through their constant preaching that I decided to breastfeed if ever I get pregnant again.

Lo, and behold, I did! So I conditioned myself on the hardships and complications of breastfeeding. When I gave birth, they brought my newborn to me and immediately latched. I could never be happier.

True enough, breastfeeding is not a walk in the park. The first week was difficult but I never gave up. Every contraction and chapped nipples actually urged me on and I held firm on my resolve.

But what got to me that made me decide to mix feed was post partum depression. 

Contrary to what people think, it's not a myth. One friend even shared that her elders does not believe in it as it only happens in the US. The shift in hormones can really make your brain go haywire. I went through crying spurts and wishing that I never got pregnant. There were moments that I didn't want to see my baby. Having no yaya for a month also added to the cocktail of volatile emotions that it's a big miracle I held everything together and lived to tell the tale.

Two months post partum, I could say I'm in a better place. Still not 100% there but definitely better than where I was a month before. Here are my learnings from my experience:

1. Don't be ashamed to accept or ask for help - having a dependable yaya nowadays is a valuable commodity--like looking for that rare pokemon. In case you're not successful in your search, have your mom or a relative/friend stay with you to help you out or even vice versa. Live with your mom while you're on maternity leave. Nothing like your mom's tender loving care to help you take care of yourself as well as your baby. Though we are painted as such, our superwoman powers can only take us so far. Take that long bath. Have that me time so you can breathe. Have someone wash the clothes or cook the meals. For CS moms (like me), you just went through a major operation. Give your bodies time to heal and recuperate.

In my case, my mother-in-law was a big help. Whenever she's at home, she would take the baby and let me have time to myself. I took my time taking a bath and finally had the chance to scrub off the grime from my operation. 

2. Surround yourself with positive things - itapon lahat ng nega. I didn't watch any heavy drama series during this period. I kept tabs on my favorite ALDUB LT which was my happy pill. I also listened to relaxing music and gorged on interesting shows on TV (FYI is my favorite channel and I want a "Tiny House"!). If you have people around you who think they know better, just tune them out. And if you need to, call a friend just to rant and share what you feel. You really need to get it out and you cannot keep it to yourself. Don't be ashamed that you're crying for no reason at all.

3. Get out of the house - once you're able, get out of your room. A change of scenery will do you good. In case you can't leave the house, go to a different room or get some fresh air. Being cooped up in our room the whole day drove me crazy. I was climbing walls and it added to my depression. Less than one month post partum, I wanted to go back to work! What I did was after lunch, I would bring my son to the den and I would watch my tv shows from there. And then would just go up to our room at twilight. Besides, it's better to stay at the ground floor as I had the misfortune of giving birth during summer. It's hotter at the second floor of the house as the heat rises up.

4. Sleep - better said than done considering your infant does not know how to differentiate night from day. But given a chance, get some rest. Believe me, your brain will conjure more depressing stuff when sleep deprived. Everything will look better after a good night's (or in our case, a couple of hours) sleep. 

During the height of my depression, I confided to a friend and she sent me a Spotify playlist which really let me relax and get some sleep.

5. Breastfeed - this actually releases happy endorphins. So even if I'm mixed feeding, I ensure to do this. It not only benefits him but me as well.

So remember, you are not alone in what you are feeling. Warm hugs to you and know that if I was able to get through it, you will too.

Sa Tamang Panahon

Eat Bulaga came up with an ALDUB song writing contest last February. If I'm not mistaken, it went on for several months and it was only on February that they announced the winner.

The song below was my favorite but it did not unfortunately get the top prize (the winner was another catchy tune and is being played during the Sugod Bahay segment).

I Write, Therefore, I Am

When I was in high school, I wrote a lot as I expressed myself better in writing rather than verbally. I dabbled mostly in poetry but not much in fiction. I was ecstatic when in my senior year, one of my poems was published in our school organ. Unfortunately, I didn't get a copy of the paper for posterity's sake but knowing that my editor told me that it's included is enough. I even kept numerous journals which were unfortunately lost during our countless residential moves. My memory is so bad lately that it was the only way for me to prove that whenever somebody tells me a story about what I did in the past.

When I joined our university's literary organ in college, I was encouraged to write more. I was exposed to better and prolific writers. We also had a theme for the paper per trimester and it was (un)fortunate that the theme for my first year with the publication was Erotica.

So, what does a 17 year old girl, fresh out of high school write about erotica? Lest to say, my short story that was submitted for the workshop was sliced and diced to pieces. I don't know if the panelists knew that that story was written by a naive, innocent girl who knew nothing about diving, sucking or licking. Whatever the case, it was enough to strip my confidence in my writing capabilities that I stopped writing fiction and focused my efforts on creating poetry instead. I found my niche in Filipino poetry that I even won two awards because of it. It was quite ironic when my thought language is English.

When I graduated from college, I stopped writing altogether and immersed myself in the banal life of corporate world.

Fast forward 23 years later.

I got into this ALDUB craze and am still an avid fan. My ALDUB friends introduced me to Wattpad and the wonders of fanfiction. I got so engrossed into reading made-up stories of our favorite celebrities and even read the not-so-good ones (read: grammatical and typographical errors). I was an interactive reader in a sense that I would let an author know if I liked her work and kept quiet if I didn't (I don't know if people are open to constructive criticism here. And it's hard to give not good feedback when you don't see the person face-to-face).

Anyway, I sent this author a tweet telling her how much I enjoyed her story. She tweeted me back and invited me to collaborate with her. The rest, is history.

I never thought I had it in me to write fiction again. Yes, I can edit but writing is another matter. There's a saying that goes "Write in white heat. Edit in cold blood." I sometimes write something but after a few days when I read it again, I mostly end up deleting it. Due to my training and the level of literature that I was exposed to way back in college, I always felt that my works were not good enough. I still feel like that up to now. That's why to see my collab with this other writer to be well received by our readers somehow revived my interest in fiction and made me believe that I am capable of coming up with well-written stories. Granted that they are not thought-provoking and mostly fluff, but at least, our readers like them.

Due to a writer's block the past few weeks, I had to take down a couple of my stories that are pending, I really liked the concept and I just hope I have the strength and will to see them through.

The past couple of months that I've been writing made me realize how much I enjoyed the process. There were times that my fingers were just flying on the keyboard trying to get down as much thoughts as I can on the word application. There are days wherein I would just stare at the screen and try to pick out something from my brain.

One thing I always keep in mind though is that, I write for myself. It'd be nice if I would attract readers but I'm not getting paid anyway. Being recognized and finding my niche is enough for me.

Socializing the Media

I consider myself an introvert. Back then, it was difficult for me to make friends. Starting a conversation can be quite difficult. When I was a child, I would rather spend my spare time in the library.

Up to now, I can still say that I'm still introvert in a sense that I would rather stay at home rather than go to parties. I've somehow gotten over my difficulty in starting conversations and learned how to approach people but I'm not what you can consider as the life of the party. I'm pretty happy just to stay in the background.

Maybe that's why I found my voice in social media. I've always been better in expressing my thoughts in the written word. That's why when mIRC chats were the in-thing more than a decade ago, I made so many online friends as I can get really chatty (and my 100 wpm typing speed certainly asserted my loquaciousness online). I even started this blog so I have a more permanent avenue to air and record my thoughts (being the forgetful person that I am, it definitely helped me remember things). And when Facebook and Twitter was born, expressing my thoughts in an abbreviated manner became easier for me (thankfully, I still managed not to make text speak a habit).

Relationships also evolved around social media. Case in point, ALDUB.

Maine Mendoza and Alden Richards have their own Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat accounts. Being the fans that we are, we follow them religiously and even have our notifications set to on whenever they post something. Their posts last night set the online world abuzz and probably lead to fans not being to sleep due to a healthy dose of giddiness brought about by the indirect exchange of the two.

At around 7-730PM Sunday night of January 24, Alden posted a video of him Dubsmashing to Boyce Avenue's version of "A Thousand Years". It sent their fans (including myself) in a frenzy as the hashtag used (#whereitallstarted) paid homage to how his pairing with Maine started. Moreover, the song was also used earlier that day during their segment in Eat Bulaga. Just when we thought we've calmed down, a couple of hours later, Maine posted a video of her dubsmashing also to "A Thousand Years" but she made it a point to start off where Alden's version ended. Twitter world was suddenly jolted awake and you could literally hear people screaming their hearts out online. And what added to the excitement was Alden' "liking" Maine's video.

It's been a while... #whereitallstarted

A video posted by Alden Richards (@aldenrichards02) on Jan 24, 2016 at 3:04am PST

A video posted by Maine Mendoza (@mainedcm) on Jan 24, 2016 at 4:34am PST

Screencap of Alden "liking" Maine's dubsmash video

The relationship dynamics have changed since social media came to life. Letting a girl know that you like her was to bring her to school or bring her gifts. Nowadays, a simple "like" even to an innocuous IG post can speak volumes.

I'm still having second thoughts whether such dynamics is actually healthier. It certainly made communication easier and connecting to people you've thought you've lost track of faster. Nothing could replace face-to-face conversation but as of now, seeing things unfold like this makes it so much fun to watch. Definitely looking forward to the next installment to Aldub's twitter/IG-serye.

My 2015

I initially did not expect much for 2015 as even if it was the year I turned 40, I just wanted to quietly celebrate it and get it over with. Didn't know that life had other plans for me. It was literally a roller coaster but I'm glad I survived to tell my tale of 40.

HEALTH SCARES

1. My Father-in-Law

It started mid-June when my in-laws returned from their US vacation. My Father-in-law (FIL) was not feeling well so my mother-in-law scheduled him for a check-up. He was scheduled for an angiogram and they found out that he needed a bypass ASAP. No wonder he was feeling poorly and it was a miracle that he did not have a heart attack while they were in the US. So on July 1 at 7 in the morning, we waited outside the Operating Room while my FIL had his open heart surgery.

The doctor came out around 6 hours later and informed us that the surgery was a success. There was no touch and go moment and my FIL responded well to the procedure. Breathing a collective sigh of relief, we all then decided to do our own things while we waited for my FIL to wake up. My Mother-in-Law (MIL) went home with my husband while my Sister-in-Law (SIL) and I decided to watch a movie.

In the middle of the movie, our phones started ringing. We were being asked to return to the hospital immediately as my FIL was rushed back to the Operating Room due to excessive bleeding. When we were eventually picked up by my brother-in-law, it was very quiet in the car and nobody was speaking. Getting to the hospital, we immediately jumped out of the car and ran up the second floor where my MIL was waiting. She started crying when she saw us and I ran back downstairs to buy water for her. It was a tense two hours while we waited for the doctor's verdict. When the surgeon eventually came out, he informed us that they were able to trace the source of the bleeding and address it. Our second collective sigh of relief was more pronounced and accompanied with tears.

2. My Sister-in-Law

Around mid-July, my brother announced that his wife is pregnant with their second child. It's a big deal for them as their eldest is already 10 years old and they've been wanting a baby for the longest time.

Come last week of July, we learned that my SIL's pregnancy was ectopic. She had to be operated on immediately. Since I know my brother would not be able to afford the hospitalization bill by himself, I went to the hospital to use my card to pay a certain portion of their bill.  It's a big blow for them but we've accepted that it's really not meant to be and that there are other plans for them.

3. My Dad

On August 2, I was having a quiet Sunday evening when my phone started ringing incessantly. I was in the other room so I didn't hear my phone. My husband brought my phone to me and it was my brother on the line. He said that our dad had a heart attack and was at the ER of Makati Med. I quickly dressed and Leo drove as fast as he can to get me to the hospital.

I initially started crying when I called my stepmother who was with my dad in the ER. The doctors were asking me to make a decision if they are to proceed with the medical procedures that they intend to do. Unfortunately, it would involve a huge amount of money which my dad, nor I, have. Taking a deep breath, I agreed to their proposal and they whisked my dad off for an angiogram and later on, an angioplasty.

The surgeon was very nice in a sense that he spoke with us before, during and after the procedure. He gave us a short Heart 101 lecture and showed us where the infarction happened and how they inserted the stents which propped up the veins. It was a tense evening but my dad pulled through. He was kept in the ICU for a couple of days and was eventually moved to a regular room.

Since as previously mentioned, my dad did not have sufficient cash to pay for his medical bills, I had to shoulder most of it -- through credit. My sister and mom helped out but it's still not much. Who knew that a small piece of metal such as a stent can cost P100,000? And they had to use two on my dad.

DEATHS

I once jokingly said that in 2015, if I was not in the hospital, I was in a funeral home. I think I visited funerals at least five times last year. One of them, was for a dear friend which I posted about here. But if I'm not mistaken, I was in Loyola Memorial Chapels over at Guadalupe 4x, and once in Manila Memorial. It was definitely draining but it is the cycle of life.

JOY 
(edited)

You need bad days in order to appreciate the good ones.

Probably one of the joyful highlights of my 2015 was when I discovered ALDUB. You might probably scoff at that but it literally changed my life. I wrote about them also here.

It is not my habit to watch noontime shows nor to idolize celebrities. But since a dubsmashing girl smiled shyly at a bedimpled young man on live TV, I got hooked. It went to as far as me joining the multitudes of people that filled up the 55,000 seating capacity of the Philippine Arena just to watch them dance and exchange hugs. The joy that I felt then was indescribable and one that I will treasure in my lifetime.

From then on, seeing them filled me with happiness and it translated to whatever it was that I'm doing. I became more sweet towards my hubby and was actually more patient at work. I also went out of my way to go to Alabang Town Center just to see them shoot their movie (well, it was not out of the way as it's just outside my village--but nevertheless, it's still not my character).

Of course, another joyful memory was my 40th birthday.

A few weeks after my dad's operation last August, my mom contacted me and asked if I wanted to go to Vegas on my birthday. I was hesitant at first as I was cash strapped due to my dad's angioplasty but she said she'll take care of it. Next thing I knew, my plane ticket was in my inbox. I was due to leave for LA on November 26 and will arrive on Thanksgiving. The best thing was that I was going to surprise my twin sister who had no idea that I will be joining them in Vegas.

I arrived in LA where my aunt picked me up at the airport. Being the social media savvy person that I am, it was so difficult for me to stay quiet online as I could not give my sister any idea that I was in the US. Unfortunate circumstances however (aka, a death in the family) forced my mom to tell my sister of my whereabouts and I almost flew to the East Coast. However, we still pushed through with Vegas where we had a blast celebrating our 40th birthday.

2015 was definitely a year that I will remember and a great way to mark my 40th year. Here's to 40 years more.

Cerebrally ALDUB

I was a late fan. In a sense that I became a serious fan only after their second meeting (yes, the kidnap episode). I've known of Aldub ever since their inception as I closely follow Maine Mendoza during her Dubsmash days. Back then, I was there just for her and paid her screen partner, Alden Richards, little mind.

But my perception changed when I saw real "kilig" in Alden's expression during their "kidnap" episode. He suddenly became more handsome before my very eyes and he continues to change as the days passes. Here's a youtube clip of what I mean (go to 1:26). That smile is now known as one of his kilig smiles.



Much has been said about their tandem and how far they have come this last four months. I was there during Ang Tamang Panahon at the Philippine Arena and it was one of the most powerful and intense events that I have ever witnessed.

I closely follow their episodes and have bought all the magazines that has featured their tandem. A friend knowing of my fascination with the couple even had a fan sign made out for me (see picture at the top of this post).

Friends are puzzled over my fascination over their love team. I myself am wondering why I'm going gaga over them when I was never like this while growing up. Even when my favorite actors or celebrities are in town, I won't exert the same amount of effort that I'm giving for Alden and Maine. Other than the hardship that we encountered just to get to Bulacan, I also went out of my way to visit them at Alabang Town Center just to watch them film their movie.

Maybe it's because I feel happy whenever I watch them. Maybe because their chemistry blurs the line between real and reel. Maybe because they look good together and they're actually falling for each other--and watching that love bloom is something beautiful to behold. Whatever the reason, I hope to still be here when/if they end up together and even if they don't. Both of them are such humble people and I do not regret giving them my support and adoration.

My ultimate fan dream is to have a picture taken with them. Of course, I would also want them to end up with each other but who are we to dictate their feelings? But if the behind-the-scenes takes are to be believed, then that is not far coming. Never have I wanted for two people to end up with each other as I do with Maine and Alden.