Chloe's 2nd birthday party

Lola's funeral

This was May 15, 2nd day of her wake. We brought in her plants from Dita as no one has sent flowers yet.

Some pictures from Lola's wake and funeral

Here Comes The Rain Again

Rainy season is here and with it the reminder that our wedding is coming soon!

I've always loved the rain and the image above (taken from winternet.com) is one of my favourite images. Seeing rain gives me memories of relaxing in bed and being able to sleep long hours due to the conducive weather.

Rain though can make it a bitch to commute but I love the feeling when I get home. I throw my wet things in one corner, take a shower and fall in bed with a nice book. Haaay.

I'd prefer the rain over sunshine (ironic eh?). Of course, I'm hoping that the sun will shine on our wedding day but on regular days, let it rain.

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ON AMERICAN IDOL

I've already read hundreds of posts regarding the recently finished American Idol competition. Most of them are saying that the Season 6 is bland and boring and definitely lackluster as compared to the previous seasons. Even the finale leaves much to be desired.

I'm a late starter when it comes to following the show. I only started late Season 3 (during the time of Jasmine Trias and wherein Fantasia won) and followed the show fulltime starting Season 4 until Season 5. Unfortunately, work demands makes it unable for me to watch the show regularly this year (I get home past 10pm). I tried watching an episode once but the contestants leaves much to be desired. Nobody stands out (well, except Blake).

Last year was the best season for me. They had Taylor Hicks, Chris Daughtry, Elliott Yamin and Mandiza all with their different and distinct styles. Most of their top 12 were all very good (except for a mistakenly chosen few). But this year, you just want everyone to go (I'm sorry, I am not a Sanjaya fan). Given with the poor choice in the top 3, admittedly, Melinda's the best singer and can definitely give Jordin a run for her money but nothing makes her different from the other great singers out there.

Hopefully next year will be better and I can be patient enough to find the episodes in youtube.

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ON FAMILY AND RELATIONSHIPS

We cremated our lola Saturday last week, had her pa-siyam last Wednesday and now my aunts are going back home. (Got this picture from my Dad's site) One of them I will see on my wedding (she's one of our sponsors!) and the other won't be able to make it as she used her leave to go home for our lola's funeral. Now I have to find another ninang to take her place.

It was bittersweet seeing them these past two weeks. I wish I could've seen them in better circumstances and had more fun. Tita Norrie and I will have time for that on August/September but with Ninang Nonie, I hope we'll have that time again.

And for those who think that Leo and I don't argue, well we do, probably as much as other couples out there. It's just we've learned to keep it between ourselves and not involve other people. We try to settle issues without any third party involved and hopefully we will not reach that point. One thing I love about him is that he's very mature and I can easily say what I feel without fear that he'll take it against me.

Our recent issue is quite minor (involving our quirks) and I hope we settle this by today. I don't like dragging things on and on and I do not want this to resurface in the future. If we're going to live together, this is something that we really have to get used to.

When I'm mad, I have the tendency to keep quiet until I'm ready to talk--much to Leo's annoyance. The first time I did this, the reason was not even major and it ticked Leo off. Unfortunately, I really cannot speak if I'm mad for fear that I'll say something that I'll regret later on so I do the next best thing--I cry. Again, much to his frustration.

I think he's used to it by now. He already knows if I'm pissed. I pity him in hindsight because it can be frustrating knowing that another person is mad at you and you have no idea why. One compromise we've reached was that I'll talk to him once I am able to. I'd prefer it that way because I'm more rational and if it involves feelings, I say what I feel or felt.

I don't know if it's me but as the wedding nears, the more we argue--thankfully not about the wedding preparations but not to the point of calling the wedding off (hopefully never). I still believe that we are made for each other (ewww...mushy) and that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I guess the secret here is not letting issues drag on forever and settling them as soon as possible.

Six Weird Things About Me

“Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about himself or herself. People who get tagged need to write a blog entry of their own as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to tag 6 people as well and list their names. Don’t forget to let them know they’ve been tagged!”

1. I love watching horror, suspense, zombie movies but I cover my eyes during the scary parts. Also if I do watch, I won't be able to sleep that night. (Ask Leo. Our first movie together was "Texas Chainsaw Massacre". harharhar!).

2. I finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix in one night.

3. I'm a pack rat. I bring multiple bags (2 big ones the least) for an overnight.I bring stuff which are not necessarily needed but I THINK will be used (girl scout to the extreme).

4. I love okra...morever if it's with eggplant and tilapia or adobo (yumyumyum!) with bagoong and vinegar.

5. I've been wearing contact lenses for the past 17 years. With a starting grade of 75, my eyes are now graded 4.25/4.50 left and right respectively with astigmatism of 100.

6. I buy school supplies that I don't need. I love having new pens, notebooks, stationeries and pad papers. I like the smell of new school supplies.

So now I'm tagging Claudine, Cheska, Joelle, Gage, Ivy, and Chuyie

Partners and Marriage

I got this from the Weddings@Work yahoogroup. It's a very long, albeit, very good read.

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Eduardo Calasanz was a student at the Ateneo Manila University Philippines, where he had Father Ferriols as professor. Father Ferriols, at that time, was the Philosophy department head. Currently he still teaches Philosophy for graduating college students in Ateneo.

Father Ferriols has been very popular for his mind opening and enriching classes but was also notorious for the grades he gives. Still people took his classes for the learning and deep insight they take home with them every day (if only they could do something about the grades...)

Anyway, come grade giving time, (Ateneo has letter grading systems, the highest being an A, lowest at D, with F for flunk), Fr Ferriols had this long discussion with the registrar people because he wanted to giveCalasanz an A+. Either that or he doesn't teach at all...Cala! sanz got his A+. Read the paper below to find out why.

PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.

And yet, on rare o! ccasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well.

There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side.

This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.
The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.

This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour.

Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together. After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you
will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation.

Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.

Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come.

If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger. It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.

But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.

So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom...endlessly.

Wedding Gown Fitting

Alam ko malaki braso ko. Huwag kayong mag-alala, tatakpan naman yan. Pero in fairness, napaliit ang tiyan ko! :)

Chronicles the fitting of my wedding gown

Lola...this is for you

I got this picture from Gage's Multiply Album. It's a quirky picture of my lola and I love it. It captures one of her moments of happiness.

My lola is a simple woman. Simple in a sense that she's not grandiose. She's happy just being with her plants and with her family.

Lola does not complain. The only time I heard her complain was when one of her loved ones was not doing well. She never complains about herself or her ailments. If ever she does, she will just state it briefly and move on.

She loves her children and grandchildren very much. She sacrificed whatever she can as long as those she loves will be alright.

My most poignant memory of her was when she rushed me to the hospital when I had an acute asthma attack (this was when I was in high school). She stayed with me when the doctors decided to put me on dextrose. I cried when they pierced my wrist with the needle and it was her name that I tearfully uttered. She comforted me the best she could.

During the wake, we got to hear different stories about her from different people in San Antonio Village. From the barangay captain, from a neighbor, from her friends at church and senior citizens. They all say the same thing--her generosity, her patience, her loving nature. Two novenas were held for her by the Senior Citizen Association of San Antonio Village and from the Legion of Mary where is an auxiliary member. She is very much loved.

(On a side note, I found out why Binay will never lose in Makati City. He has minions going around the different funeral chapels in Makati City to find out if any Makati citizen has passed away. This information is passed on to him and he actually visits the wake! One of his minions passed by Tuesday morning and we were told that the mayor will visit that night and true enough he did! However, my lolo was not around when he arrived. One of my aunts arrived that time from Australia and went straight to the coffin sobbing her heart out. Binay excused himself and said he'll wait for our lolo outside the chapel--and he did! He sent flowers, even his son Jun-jun and his vice mayor Nestor Mercado. Now THAT is a consummate politician.)

There's a part of me that wishes I never saw her during her last moments. I do not like that the last pictures of her in my mind are her lying helpless and limp in the ER, or stiff with rigor mortis at the morgue, or all embalmed and made up in her white coffin. I do not want to remember her that way. I want to remember her like the picture above. A nurturer and someone who is abounding with patience and love. But those last moments enabled me to say goodbye; enabled me to accept the inevitable and provide comfort to those who needed it. Even in her death, she was able to provide comfort and strength.

My only regret is that she will not be around for my wedding. She would've loved our flowers.

We love you so much, lola. We will miss you. I will really miss you.

Paciencia Mercado David
(May 30, 1924-May 14, 2007)

Lola...this is for you

I got this picture from Gage's Multiply Album. It's a quirky picture of my lola and I love it. It captures one of her rare moments of happiness.

My lola is a simple woman. Simple in a sense that she's not grandiose. She's happy just being with her plants and with her family.

Lola does not complain. The only time I heard her complain was when one of her loved ones was not doing well. She never complains about herself or her ailments. If ever she does, she will just state it briefly and move on.

She loves her children and grandchildren very much. She sacrificed whatever she can as long as those she loves will be alright.

My most poignant memory of her was when she rushed me to the hospital when I had an acute asthma attack (this was when I was in high school). She stayed with me when the doctors decided to put me on dextrose. I cried when they pierced my wrist with the needle and it was her name that I tearfully uttered. She comforted me the best she could.

My lola is well-known for her love of flowers and plants. When I took her to Tagaytay and we visited Leo's parents, she loved their garden.

During the wake, we got to hear different stories about her from different people in San Antonio Village. From the barangay captain, from a neighbor, from her friends at church and senior citizens. They all say the same thing--her generosity, her patience, her loving nature. Two novenas were held for her by the Senior Citizen Association of San Antonio Village and from the Legion of Mary where is an auxiliary member. She is very much loved.

(On a side note, I found out why Binay will never lose in Makati City. He has minions going around the different funeral chapels in Makati City to find out if any Makati citizen has passed away. This information is passed on to him and he actually visits the wake! One of his minions passed by Tuesday morning and we were told that the mayor will visit that night and true enough he did! However, my lolo was not around when he arrived. One of my aunts arrived that time from Australia and went straight to the coffin sobbing her heart out. Binay excused himself and said he'll wait for our lolo outside the chapel--and he did! He sent flowers, even his son Jun-jun and his vice mayor Nestor Mercado. Now THAT is a consummate politician.)

There's a part of me that wishes I never saw her during her last moments. I do not like that the last pictures of her in my mind is her lying helpless and limp in the ER, or stiff with rigor mortis at the morgue, or all embalmed and made up in her white coffin. I do not want to remember her that way. I want to remember her like the picture above. A nurturer and someone who is abounding with patience and love. But those last moments enabled me to say goodbye; enabled me to accept the inevitable and provide comfort to those who needed it. Even in her death, she was able to provide comfort and strength.

My only regret is that she will not be around for my wedding. She would've loved our flowers.

We love you so much, lola. We will miss you. I will really miss you.

Paciencia Mercado David
(May 30, 1924-May 14, 2007)

Thank You

Our grandmother, Paciencia Mercado David, died at the age of 82. She was survived by my grandfather, Ruben David, her 6 children, 17 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren. She was dead on arrival at the Medical Center of Paranaque when we rushed her there Monday, May 14. Official cause of death is heart failure.

The remains of our Lola Pacing is interred at the Sacred Heart Chapel, National Shrine of the Sacred Heart at San Antonio Village Makati City. Funeral mass will be on Saturday, 830 am. Her remains will be cremated at 11am at Manila Memorial Park, Sucat.

To those who have expressed their condolences for the demise of our grandmother, we express our thanks.

I'll write more when all of this is over. Right now, I spend most of the time at the chapel.

Shocked to the Heart

Our family suffered a major shock today. We found out today that our paternal grandfather has liver cancer. We were shocked as our grandfather is known for his healthy lifestyle. He doesn't drink and he doesn't smoke. Apparently, the cancer was caused by a dormant infection.

As for how long he has, we will know by tomorrow but it won't be long as the cancer's terminal. All we pray for is that he won't suffer and his last days will be happy and comfortable.

Please keep my grandfather in your prayers.

Barong Designs

Please choose a nice barong design. Sorry for the unclear pics.
There are only two designs, by the way. DSCN0163 and DSCN0162 are one style while DSCN0166 and DSCN0168 are another style.
Personally, I prefer the latter one for Daddy (it has flowers)

3-3-3

Cool, my wedding counter says that my wedding is 3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days away. Hah! Gotta capture this.

A New Reason to Watch AI

Last season was the first time I watched American Idol from start to finish. Unfortunately, I did not feel the same way this season. There was no contestant that I liked and who's performance really blew me off my aching and tired feet.

However, seeing Blake Lewis' performance in You Tube of "You Give Love a Bad Name" made me a believer once again. I don't know if it's enough to make him win, but he will surely get my vote (that is if I can).

Marvel vs DC

Found a couple of parodies in youtube. Really hilarious for all marvel and dc fans.
Just click on "More from this User" to see the other videos. Really funny :) Check it out:

Update This

Weird. My blogs in Multiply are not feeding here and vice versa. Just let me do some test posts...

I've been cleaning up my blogs across the internet. Let me see, I know I maintain one in Yahoo 360, another in Friendster and another in Livejournal. Gosh, I need to put everything together!

Don't Give Up On Us

Rating:	★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Romantic Comedy

I'm a belated Piolo and Juday loveteam fan. The only movie of theirs that I watched (other than this) was Till There Was You (did they have another movie together other than those two?). That movie made me a convert.

Till There Was You was released, if I'm not mistaken, early last year. I didn't want to watch it at first as Piolo sported long locks in the movie. But at my officemate's urging and support (she did lend me the DVD), I watched it.

One thing I liked about the film was the scenery. Half of the movie was set at Baguio and it's surrounding towns--specifically Banawe and Sagada. The views were breathtaking--especially that of the Banawe Rice Terraces. I told Leo we should go there one time. Really beautiful place.

I also liked the story--sort off. Judy Ann's character (Abby) went off to Baguio to run after the wife to be of her brother, who happens to be her bestfriend (Sabina, played by Cheska Garcia). Sabina ran off in the middle of her bridal shower and disappeared off to parts unknown. A tape found in Sabina's bag pointed Abby to Vince (Piolo Pascual) at Baguio.

To make the long story short, Abby and Vince bonded while they looked for Sabina all over Baguio, Banawe and Sagada. Abby was very determined to find her bestfriend so she can drag her back to her brother. She just could not accept Sabina's decision. When they finally found Sabina, she did not want to return and wanted to stay with her lover in Sagada.

So where does leave Abby and Vince? Well, Vince wants a simple life and is quite happy in Baguio--singing in the Ayuyang bar, while Abby works in the very competitive world of Advertising (she smokes in the movie! Does she really smoke?) in Manila. Vince is scared that Abby will not be contented in Baguio and Vince thinks he will not succeed in Manila as a recording artist. So we then see our two lovebirds tearfully part ways. Abby hies off to Australia to accompany her parents while Vince tries his luck iin Manila to record a very emotional album.

Abby and Vince fatefully meet again during the successful release of his album. Through the rain, he saw Sabina walking down the street and he follows her to a restaurant, and there was Abby. They tearfully reunite amidst hugs and kisses.

What made this different from their previous film was how they showed their passion. Their previous movie was more "nakakakilig" because they really showed their affection for each other. For this movie, parang pigil. May daya nga yung mga kissing scenes nila. Piolo was covering the screen, not like their previous movie. Maybe because he was being sensitive over Juday's relationship with Ryan Agoncillo. It was just too funny. It's better if they just hugged without trying hard to do their kissing scenes.

I really hated Juday's character, maybe because she was so cut-throat and very abrasive. Typical yuppie. I sometimes forget that I am a yuppy and can sometimes show impatience. She was right in saying that our time is very precious and every minute counts. I've reached the point wherein a day is not enough to do everything that I need to accomplish. Even if I work 14-15 hours a day, it's still not enough. I have to sit back and smell the roses.

Anyway, Piolo has a new movie coming out soon with Regine Velasquez. I have to watch that. They look good together.

Razon's

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Restaurants
Cuisine:	Other
Location:	Greenbelt 1, Jupiter, Alabang Town Center (among others)

The restaurant started at Pampanga (can't remember the actual town) and they serve authentic Kapampangan cuisine. I heard so much about the place, especially their halo-halo, and it was only last Saturday that we got to try the food.

After picking me up from the office, Leo and I hied off to Greenbelt 1 where we had some merienda. We chose Razon's as I wanted to try their much recommended halo-halo. Due to the heat, I tend to eat/drink more cool drinks/desserts.

I'm not much of a fan of halo-halo as I don't like beans. Usually I tend to be lugi if I order one as I ask that the beans be removed, and I pay the same price as a regular halo-halo (a regular halo-halo can have more than 2 to 3 types of beans--garbanzos and munggo are the more common types). But at Razon's, they only have three ingredients (other than the ice and milk)--leche flan, sweetened saging na saba and strips of macapuno. It's the perfect halo-halo for me (well, maybe skip the macapuno and substitute with pinipig--that's PERFECT).

Leo tried the pancit and he said it's okay (although I don't know if that's OK or just a mere ok). I'll try that next time.

Four Months to Go

My counter said that our wedding is exactly four months away today. Time flies by so fast. I know I should have nothing to panic about as our preparations are going smoothly, but I can't help but feel panicky--especially more when the three month mark comes.

Last week, I had a nightmare about our wedding. My friends found it funny as it's too early for me to get wedding nightmares--but I did.

I dreamed that I went to work on my wedding day! The wedding is that 1030 and at 10am I was still in the office. I left around a few minutes before 1030 only to find out that the wedding will be held in court (civil wedding).

When I got the municipal/city hall, I suddenly remembered that I forgot to buy shoes! I said I'll just wear sandals but when I slipped on the dress (white dress with red roses), it was barely reaching my feet and my sandals can be very much seen! I then decided to go barefoot.

Other horrors, I was told the caterer is lost and nowhere to be found. The tables are set up but the food is not there. Gosh!

Fortunately, the wedding that I dreamed of is not what Leo and are planning for. I'm definitely NOT going to be at work during my wedding day and I will definitely not wear a dress with red roses. My caterer is the reception place itself and they will not forget such a thing as a wedding (after making kulit).

At least when Leo and I were walking the aisle towards the judge (although I can't remember seeing him), I was happy regardless of the inconveniences. I guess that was what counted and I know would count on the actual day itself. It was what my friends have also been telling me--let go of all the small bloopers during the wedding day. That's what the coordinator is for. I'll just let go and Let God.