Sunday, September 14, 2008

8 Ways to Comfort with Grace

I've always followed Rita Avila's journey towards motherhood, ever since I saw her being interviewed at the defunct S-Files wherein she shared her frustration on getting pregnant. I felt mad in her behalf when the show somehow twisted the story of her dolls. See, her husband bought her two dolls which they treated as their babies. The talk show somehow insinuated that she lost her mind in treating the dolls as real life people. Of course she was the guest and she cleared it up afterwards but some people can just be very insensitive in the feelings of other people.

I was overjoyed for her when she gave birth to a baby boy November 2006 but that feeling of joy turned into sorrow when I read in Ricky Lo's column at the Philippine Star that they lost their baby due to a heart ailment a month after his birth.

Almost two years after the death of her child, she came out with a small book titled "8 Ways to Comfort with Grace". It contains tips on how to comfort grieving people. I wanted to buy it as I'm always at a loss when I find myself in such a situation. Usually, I just sit with the crying person and offer my shoulder to cry on and try not to say anything. So when Leo and I went to the Bookfair today, I really looked for her book amongst the dozens of exhibitors that covered the whole floor area and was glad when I found it with minimal help from the Secretariat.

Upon getting home, it was the first book I read. I was really touched by her story. Maybe because I have relatives and friends who share her story as well. I'm glad too that the way I comfort is considered acceptable. I try as much as possible, to be sensitive to the feelings of the grieving party as I try to put myself in their place. After all, I have lost people who are dear to me so I could relate to their grief.

I really do recommend this book. It's published by St. Paul and cost me only P100 (it was on sale as it was the Bookfair but regular price is P125).


Nonie David Carluen said...

keep this up sunshine. the least said to a grieving person - the better. nothing more annoying than a yapper when all the grieving person wants is to be lost in thoughts.

Norrie Blackeby said...

Grief is so damn personal and just having someone hold your hand or caress your back is enough for me. Silence and understanding are the best companions when one is grieving. I do hate hearing cliches thrown at me and the worst one was "only God knows". That drove me to the brink of despair.

Rene David said...

What about "Life is like that". Like what? or "Time heals". I should take Time whenever I cut myself. lols

Norrie Blackeby said...

You are getting funnier as you get older diks. hehehehe. How about....someday you'll look back at this time and laugh or remember the good times. Yada yada.

Rene David said...

a good answer might be " yeah... I'll be looking back and laugh on the silly things you've been saying to me now" and what about "God gives and God takes away" Indian giver?