To Be or Not To Be

We had prepared for this audit for the past 14 months and I'm glad to say that all our hard work paid off. My boss and I were in high spirits when I left the office last night. We're just waiting for our grade but from the looks of it, the results are favourable. I'm just so glad that it's over! This is not the last and for sure, there are others coming but the reason why this was so relevant to me was that I had one item which was my responsibility. It was my main source of stress for the past 12 months and I'm just so very very glad to hand it over to my successor.

I prefer the stress of my current position as bragging aside, I could do the work with my eyes closed. It's the daily decision making that continue to challenge me--is my current capacity enough to do the day's work? Do I have to render overtime? Does my staff have to render overtime? Now that the audit is over, I can focus myself more on improving processes, encouraging people and managing expectations.

A couple of Fridays ago, I had lunch with my boss. She's a working mom and though she has thought of retiring, she never could bring herself to do so. She said that she will miss the challenges and she'll probably get bored. It made me rethink why I've been telling Leo that I would rather be a stay-at-home mom. He does not agree with my idea as he believes that I'll get bored as I'm used to the fast life. Moreover, it'll be difficult to provide a good lifestyle for our children if he's the only one who will be working. I told him that I'll only file for early retirement if I have my own business to attend to. So I guess that's our deal. Next question would be, what's a nice business to go into. I've always wanted to have my own grocery, maybe I could start with that. Hehe.

I've always envied stay at home moms (SAHM). Though I'm sure their life is not as laid-back and glamorous as I think they are, I just like the thought that they get to see their children almost 24/7 and spend more time with them. They get to see their children grow up and they get to play an influential part in their children's lives.

I have a friend who's a SAHM. She shared with me the initial difficulty of being a SAHM--from dealing with friends and relatives who say that she just wasted her college education, to dealing with the daily difficulties of being the only one in the house to watch over her two growing children. I love hearing about her SAHM stories during our annual (or semi-annual) get-togethers or through her blog.

Come to think of it, being a SAHM will not waste a college education and would even make one eligible for a masteral degree! Running a household and rearing children and taking care of a husband entails superior managing skills. You have to be good in financing and budgeting and you should be able encourage/influence people to do what you want them to do.

Right now, I'm still trying to establish myself and finding my place in the corporate world. I'm happy with my current level and I'm not aiming for the highest position in the company. I'm just going to give the best that I can and be the best manager that my bosses molded me to be, and when I get married and have a family of my own, I'm going to give the best that I can and be the best wife, mother, daughter that my parents raised me to be. I just hope I can balance the two.