Sometimes I take myself too seriously. My finals is one prime example of this.
I took a leave of absence from work to study and do my final papers. Everything is pushed at the sidelines until I finish my exams. I can't understand why my way of thinking is this way considering I'm not supposed to be as pressured as I was in college. Everytime I find myself falling into despair just because my linear regression formula does not want to work or I could not understand the concept of homoestasdicity (I don't even know if I spelled it right), I remind myself that there is life after the finals. I would minimize my excel and word screens and play a round of spider solitaire.
Because of my studying, my room is a big mess. My books and case papers are lying all around, ready to be picked up if I need to refer to something. As long as I can make it through tomorrow, then I'll be fine. Next thing I need to do is to finish wrapping up my gifts.
I think I'm turning into a scrooge. Don't get me wrong. I don't scrimp on gifts nor do I hide from my ever-growing number of godchildren. It's just I'm learning to dread the Christmas season. It's turning into the most hated season for me. Rather ironic since just early this year, it was my favorite time of the year. It must be the commercialism that got to me.
You know, I don't think this way before. I'm not even supposed to think this way. Maybe graduate school changed my way of thinking and turned me into a person reeking of commercialism. It made me see Christmas not as a season of joy, love and peace but a season of exchange gifts and stress.
It's not supposed to hurt this way.
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