Wake-up Call

Ever since I can remember, I've always fought a losing war against my weight. After all the battles that I've fought, I only recall one fight that I won and that was on my second year of high school (the only time that I had a waist line of 27"). I don't know why I was so focused on losing weight that time, but if I remember it right, I was tapped to be a bridesmaid of my uncle's wedding and the dress was something that I could only wear if I was a size 8 (short skirt and off shoulder neckline).

I can't recall how many pounds I lost that time, but I looked great in that wedding! I managed to retain the weight until after high school graduation.

The pounds started to pile in upon reaching college. I don't know if it's because I started eating more, or because I hung out with a group of guys who eat as if they're running a marathon. And when I started working, I gained more and more pounds. Fourteen years after entering college, I gained a total of sixty pounds.

Sounds horrible, I know. I tried to lose weight but I can't seem to find the same focus that I had before. I grew complacent and I found solace in food. I ran out of hope that I will never be sexy thin as my siblings or my mom are. I will always be the fat girl (but with the brains) in the family.

Last November, we had our annual physical check-up at work. I was not that worried since the previous year before that, I was told that my cholesterol levels were at a normal high and I knew I worked on that last January 2004. In fact, my gym instructor told me then that I'm "safe" already.

But when I got my blood chemistry results yesterday, I was so surprised that I went cold all over and cried.

The good news is that I have no diabetes. My glucose levels are normal. However, my cholesterol, triglycerides and uric acid levels are in the alarmingly high levels. I dropped whatever it was I was doing and rushed off to Makati Med to consult with our family doctor.

While trudging towards Makati Med, I tried to figure out what caused my cholesterol to jump up. I figured that I must've gained all the pounds that I lose last year and at that time (end of November), I was eating like crazy due to the upcoming Christmas season.

I listened numbly as my doctor prescribed medicines and gave me my diet and other instructions on how to lower my weight and my cholesterol, triglycerides and uric acids to manageable levels.

My doctor also discussed the repurcussions if I have not done anything.

Cholesterol, as we all know, hardens the arteries. Tryglicerides, are calories not used and transported to fat cells to be stored. Excess triglycerides are linked to coronary artery disease and can even lead to diabetes. I was basically a heart attack and diabetes patient, waiting to happen. Uric acid causes pain in the joints (aka gout). It's not as alarming as previously mentioned two, but it's something that I have to bring down, else I'll be limping or complaining of aches for the rest of my life.

Now, here I am, miserable in my second day of diet. According to my doctor, I can only eat the following:

1. fish - tuna is out of the question since it belongs to the mackarel family and they have high levels of uric acid (or is that cholesterol?). fish suggestions are bangus and lapu-lapu. They should be steamed or boiled or whatever but NEVER fried.

2. vegetables - not beans. Again, high levels of uric acid.

3. fruits - my glucous levels are ok so I can eat any fruit.

4. rice - plain not friend or anything else. Just plain boring boiled rice.

5. chicken - as long as it's not fried and remove the skin.

I ate only salads the whole day yesterday, yougurt and bread. I got more depressed when I learned that I can't eat oatmeal since it's high in uric acid (actually, surfed the web and yeast based products are also not allowed. So I guess that removes bread from my diet as well. Kill me now).

I get terribly cranky, miserable and depressed when I'm put in the spot like this. As I said, food is my solace. I have this psychological and emotional relationship with food and it won't be easy for me to get over it. Maybe I need to see a shrink to help me get through this. I already warned my SO about my mood and he's taking it pretty well. He said that he'll stick with me and will even eat the same stuff that I will eat. I thought it was pretty much bull but I was touched last night. The food served here at home was menudo. He was in the process on putting the stuff on his plate but when I just asked for carrots and potatos, he put everything back and just weeded out the aforementioned vegetables. He gave most to me and ate some for himself.

The first few weeks will be difficult. It always is. Food is my habit. Food is my vice. To just take it away like that is indeed painful. But it's for the best. After my heart-to-heart talk with my doctor (pun intended), I don't think I can eat another bite of unhealthy food. I'll go on whining and complaining but deep down, I know that what I'm doing is for my well-being. Besides, it might make me sexy enough for my dream wedding dress (haha).

So this is it. This is my wake-up call. My make or break year. I'll be turning 30 at the end of this year so might as well do it with a big bang. I'm planning to have a party at Mcdonald's or Jollibee to celebrate with my godkids and hopefully by that time, I've lost enough weight and will be fit enough to greet the next decade of my life.