Friday, February 25, 2005

Summer Days

Summer Days are indeed here.

No work today due to the EDSA celebration. Stayed at home to finish my Prodman paper due tomorrow.

Unfortunately, I had to contend with the heat that heralds the start of the summer months.

SO and I are headed off to Tagaytay tomorrow to join his folks at their place. Don't know though where we will be going on Sunday. It's our day to celebrate our anniversary.

Wake-up Call

Ever since I can remember, I've always fought a losing war against my weight. After all the battles that I've fought, I only recall one fight that I won and that was on my second year of high school (the only time that I had a waist line of 27"). I don't know why I was so focused on losing weight that time, but if I remember it right, I was tapped to be a bridesmaid of my uncle's wedding and the dress was something that I could only wear if I was a size 8 (short skirt and off shoulder neckline).

I can't recall how many pounds I lost that time, but I looked great in that wedding! I managed to retain the weight until after high school graduation.

The pounds started to pile in upon reaching college. I don't know if it's because I started eating more, or because I hung out with a group of guys who eat as if they're running a marathon. And when I started working, I gained more and more pounds. Fourteen years after entering college, I gained a total of sixty pounds.

Sounds horrible, I know. I tried to lose weight but I can't seem to find the same focus that I had before. I grew complacent and I found solace in food. I ran out of hope that I will never be sexy thin as my siblings or my mom are. I will always be the fat girl (but with the brains) in the family.

Last November, we had our annual physical check-up at work. I was not that worried since the previous year before that, I was told that my cholesterol levels were at a normal high and I knew I worked on that last January 2004. In fact, my gym instructor told me then that I'm "safe" already.

But when I got my blood chemistry results yesterday, I was so surprised that I went cold all over and cried.

The good news is that I have no diabetes. My glucose levels are normal. However, my cholesterol, triglycerides and uric acid levels are in the alarmingly high levels. I dropped whatever it was I was doing and rushed off to Makati Med to consult with our family doctor.

While trudging towards Makati Med, I tried to figure out what caused my cholesterol to jump up. I figured that I must've gained all the pounds that I lose last year and at that time (end of November), I was eating like crazy due to the upcoming Christmas season.

I listened numbly as my doctor prescribed medicines and gave me my diet and other instructions on how to lower my weight and my cholesterol, triglycerides and uric acids to manageable levels.

My doctor also discussed the repurcussions if I have not done anything.

Cholesterol, as we all know, hardens the arteries. Tryglicerides, are calories not used and transported to fat cells to be stored. Excess triglycerides are linked to coronary artery disease and can even lead to diabetes. I was basically a heart attack and diabetes patient, waiting to happen. Uric acid causes pain in the joints (aka gout). It's not as alarming as previously mentioned two, but it's something that I have to bring down, else I'll be limping or complaining of aches for the rest of my life.

Now, here I am, miserable in my second day of diet. According to my doctor, I can only eat the following:

1. fish - tuna is out of the question since it belongs to the mackarel family and they have high levels of uric acid (or is that cholesterol?). fish suggestions are bangus and lapu-lapu. They should be steamed or boiled or whatever but NEVER fried.

2. vegetables - not beans. Again, high levels of uric acid.

3. fruits - my glucous levels are ok so I can eat any fruit.

4. rice - plain not friend or anything else. Just plain boring boiled rice.

5. chicken - as long as it's not fried and remove the skin.

I ate only salads the whole day yesterday, yougurt and bread. I got more depressed when I learned that I can't eat oatmeal since it's high in uric acid (actually, surfed the web and yeast based products are also not allowed. So I guess that removes bread from my diet as well. Kill me now).

I get terribly cranky, miserable and depressed when I'm put in the spot like this. As I said, food is my solace. I have this psychological and emotional relationship with food and it won't be easy for me to get over it. Maybe I need to see a shrink to help me get through this. I already warned my SO about my mood and he's taking it pretty well. He said that he'll stick with me and will even eat the same stuff that I will eat. I thought it was pretty much bull but I was touched last night. The food served here at home was menudo. He was in the process on putting the stuff on his plate but when I just asked for carrots and potatos, he put everything back and just weeded out the aforementioned vegetables. He gave most to me and ate some for himself.

The first few weeks will be difficult. It always is. Food is my habit. Food is my vice. To just take it away like that is indeed painful. But it's for the best. After my heart-to-heart talk with my doctor (pun intended), I don't think I can eat another bite of unhealthy food. I'll go on whining and complaining but deep down, I know that what I'm doing is for my well-being. Besides, it might make me sexy enough for my dream wedding dress (haha).

So this is it. This is my wake-up call. My make or break year. I'll be turning 30 at the end of this year so might as well do it with a big bang. I'm planning to have a party at Mcdonald's or Jollibee to celebrate with my godkids and hopefully by that time, I've lost enough weight and will be fit enough to greet the next decade of my life.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


I was proud that I never had allergies when I was growing up. My only allergy was from bagoong isda and dust (for my asthma). I remembered eating that when I was a kid and my whole body started swelling. It started with a small pantal on my arm, and next thing I knew, it was spreading. My mom took me to my pedia and they gave me an anti-allergy which conked me out after drinking it. After that, I avoided bagoong isda like the plague.

Lately though, I'm discovering that I'm allergic to things that I'm not allergic to before. Case in point, shrimp.

I love shrimp. I really really do. I love them buttered or on pizza or anything! It's my favorite seafood.

Late last year, my groupmates and I had our presentation at school. While we're waiting for class to start, we ordered a seafood pizza from Yellow Cab. A few minutes after consuming a slice, I could feel my lips swelling. As in swelling! I stopped eating and drank lots of water and spread vaseline lip therapy on my lips. I was hoping that my classmates would not notice my lips while presenting and would just think that it's lipstick.

After that episode, I avoided yellowcab's seafood pizza and started experimenting on shrimp. I found out that I'm allergic to "non-fresh" shrimp. Fresh shrimp are ok with me.

I also accidentally discovered that I'm allergic to certain kinds of lipsticks.

I was saddened by this realization because I love make-up, even if I rarely wear them. Everytime a relative comes home from abroad, I always ask for make-up. Last Christmas, a couple of friends gave me lipsticks as gifts (Clinique and Avon).

Last month, I bought a tube of lip gloss from In2it. I've been using this specific brand for quite some time and I'm very happy with the results. Weirdly though, my lips started swelling after using the lip gloss. I thought it was just a fluke so I used it again last Friday, and with the same results. I'm still soothing my lips with Vaseline up to now.

This is all frustrating because I can't eat what I usually ate, nor could I just use make-up as freely as I did before.

It's easy dealing with food allergies, but it will be difficult with regards to make-up. I have to find out the components of the lip gloss and do some comparisons. I'm going to buy a tube of lipstick from VMV (noted hypoallergenic brand) later and see whether I'm ok with it. Or maybe I can try Bodyshop. I have an important interview on Wednesday and I need to look my best (and that involves make-up!).

Sunday, February 13, 2005

My Valentine's Celebration

It's been quite a weekend.

After our gruelling Prodman midterms yesterday, Leo and I proceeded to Alabang where we had dinner with his family at Vivere. Vivere is this rooftop restaurant where you can see a nice view of Laguna de Bay. It's really nice if not for the cold. There are also hotel rooms available in the building. Unfortunately, I can't say much for the food. It's nothing exemplary. If you're going there, just go for the view and not for the food.

This morning, we drove to Tagaytay where we had lunch at Sonya's garden. It's an out of the way place but people still flock to that restaurant. They're known for their organic food. They serve a fixed meal of salad, bread and pasta. They grow or make everything that they serve. The food is really delicious. Worth the travel.

Before leaving their house, Leo gave me my Valentine's gift. It's a white gold necklace as shown below:

I gave him a shirt from Celio.

Over-all, it's been a good Valentine's albeit a bit early. We're still going to meet tomorrow although to study for our Accounting midterms. We don't intend to go out and join the throngs of dating people. We're not really fond of crowds.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Funny and Early Valentine

Valentine's came early for me.

My boyfriend sent me flowers 3 days early. I don't know if he wanted to make a statement, but he sure did get everyone's attention at work when he sent me the roses.

They were so beautiful when they first arrived. I have never received a boquet of RED roses before. The roses that I have received before were either white or peach but never red. Nevertheless, those two dozen roses were beautiful, moreover when the buds had dew on them when I took them out of the plastic. Good thing nobody else read the card (everyone surmised that the flowers came from Leo) because there was no sender indicated on the card (does "Anonymous" count?). Since I know nobody else in his right mind would send me flowers, I immediately called Leo up and thanked him.

Here's me at my workstation with my roses.

Since he gave me flowers early, I gave him my gift as well. I got him a polo shirt from Celio. I noticed that he has been eyeing that shirt for quite some time. I hurried off to Greenbelt 3 on my lunch break and after so much dithering, bought the polo which hopefully was his size.

Anyway, we're going to celebrate either Saturday or Sunday. I don't know what his plans are but he said he has another present for me. I don't want to hope but well, I'll just condition myself to think that it's some kind of electronic thingee or probably something else. Ay wait, maybe it's that trinket that I showed him at Market Market! sometime ago. Ongano. Durn. Oh well, so much for that ever elusive proposal. But hey, I'm happy with the flowers.

Friday, February 11, 2005


It's that time of the term.

It's been quite a while since I actually took midterms. As I mentioned before, last term was pretty light. But this term is different. I just got back from some sort of group study where we discussed our possible answers to tomorrow's midterm exam. At least the professor is making it easy on us. So far, both my midterms are open notes and open books. Hopefully I'll do good in these tests.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Badminton Part Deux

Talked with my household head and he agreed to move our Tuesday households so I can join my officemates during their plays. I brought him along to show him my gratitude. Good thing I did because my officemates were impressed by his form and his play. They thought he's my trainor! (har har har) Technically, he did teach me the basic rudiments and the flow of the game. We only managed to play once and I let him join the more "advanced" players, where shuttlecocks are flying over the net at great speed!

It was also a day of reconnecting with old friends/officemates.

Old Friend/Officemate #1 resigned a couple of years ago to accept an AM position from another bank. I cried buckets when she left because I will really miss her. She's my OT-mate and we were promoted to officer status months from each other. She sent me a text message this morning asking if I'm at work since she'll be sending me my tikoy (Kung Hei Fat Choi!). I called her when I got to work and we exchanged news and pleasantries. She asked me when I was going to get married and I asked her if she's willing to be a bridesmaid. Surprisingly, she said yes! I was shocked because ever since I've known this girl, she's been quite an AS and hasn't attended any of our officemates' weddings, and here she is volunteering to be my bridesmaid! And because of that, she's going to start losing weight (she's as horizontally challenged as me).

Old Friend/Officemate #2 resigned middle of last year to get married. I think I wrote about this as well. I cried in her despedida because other than Old Friend/Officemate #1, she's one of the honest-to-goodness "good" person that I know. She's so nice and so good that she radiates with it! I have never met someone like her and I'm glad to have known her.
Anyway, a picture of her, another officemate and me is displayed at my workstation. One of my guy officemates visited my area and saw the picture. Out of the blue, he asked about her and how she is. I immediately texted her and conveyed the question not knowing whether she would answer (ever since she got married, she's always out of town or out of the country). I was again surprised when she sent a message back saying she's expecting! We were so happy for her and are looking forward to her due date. We owe her a bridal shower, might as well make it a baby shower at that.

Anyway, have to crawl to bed now. Regardless of the stretchings that I did, my body will still hurt tomorrow.

Monday, February 07, 2005

What Extreme Sport Should I Try?

Can arcade count? :D

You Should Try Car Racing

You've got an unbelievable need for speed
No little fear of crashing will stop your lead foot

Go this from Ri's blogspot

You Have A Type A- Personality


You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Friday, February 04, 2005

All Alone Again

I wrote sometimes before how a good friend at work resigned. With her resignation, I was left with only one good friend at work.

The day that I had feared has arrived, she is leaving us. No, not to go abroad with her husband as was her original plan, but she got a good offer from another bank. I'm very happy for her and her choice. I'm envious of course, but my happiness for her overcame that negative emotion.

In my recent one-on-one with my boss, I told her that I feel sad with all the comings and goings of people in our department--especially if the person leaving is a friend. I felt incompetent that all these people are getting their breaks, while I'm left holding an empty bag. She said that I'm still young (yeah, she's my age and she's already an AVP) and I still have plenty of opportunities coming my way. I'll just hold on to the thought that God has a plan for me and it will happen in His time. In the meantime, I just have to continue to be patient.

Down and Out

I'm home, sick.

I'm trying to remember the last time I was stuck at home nursing a fever or colds, because that's what I'm trying to baby right now.

Last Tuesday, I had a dry coughs which were bothering me. I saw a doctor last Wednesday and she prescribed some Mucosolvans. I took a tablet and felt worse aftewards so I stopped taking it. I woke up the next day with the same heavy feeling witout the fever and dragged myself to work. I went to the clinic again and I was advised to continue on taking the Mucosolvan and what do you know, the fever started!

So here I am, with a 37-38C fever (last night reaching 38.5C), drinking lots of fluids and popping ascorbic acids and paracetamol tablets.

I still intend to go to school later. I won't mind missing work but missing class is such a pain. I missed accounting class last night and I worried about it the whole time. I don't intend to miss production management make-up class tonight and tomorrow. I'll rest the whole day and leave sometime before 5. It does not help that class is in Taft.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Bought a whole "kaing" of mangoes from an officemate. ("kaing" is equivalent to 20 kilos).

I could not help but buy that much. I'm a sucker for mangoes. I absolutely love mangoes. Smelling the scent of mango brings me such wonderful memories.

We had this mango tree at our house in BF. I would remember the times when we would climb the tree bringing with us a peeling knife and some soy sauce and salt. We would stay on the roof and eat our picked green mangoes there. Yum yum!

We have this uncle hailing from Marinduque. The first time that the whole clan went there for the Moriones Festival, we raided their indian mango tree. Some of my relatives would eat the mango, fresh from the tree--skin and all.

When we were kids, our parents would send us off to Batangas to spend the summer with my grandparents and other cousins. I remember times when we would rent a movie and eat green mangoes while doing so.

Old Friends

The world is a small place indeed.

I've been "accidentally" meeting old friends and acquaintances from my yesteryears. For the past 2 months, I've met 3 or so friends, although some meetings have been embarassing.

Acquaintance #1
Leo and I were browsing through the tiangge at Alabang last December. Somebody called his name and it was his old high school batchmate. He introduced me to her and she looked at me and asked, "Sunshine David from St. Scho?" I just looked at her blankly and for the life of me, could not place her face or the name that she gave. It turns out that we were batchmtes in grade school and she transferred to Zobel upon reaching high school.

Acquaintance #2
I received a friendster message from an MBA classmate. She asked me if I were from St Scho and what I was doing in the SSC92 batch friend of friendster? It turns out that we're also from the same high school batch albeit we never became classmates. Funny since we're seatmates and we've been talking for quite some time already yet we never placed each other's faces.

Acquaintance #3
Also courtesy of friendster. An old college friend "friendstered" me and we started chatting in YM. It turns out that we also became batchmates in gradeschool/highschool and we even became classmates in college! Small small world!

Unfortunately, there's no way for me to verify the faces of these people since my gradeschool yearbook has gone missing and my highschool yearbook is with a friend (which I hope he would return soon...[[parinig]]).

I guess these incidents show that my grade school and high school years were not that memorable, or they were traumatic for me.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

The Deepness of Love

Love will never cease to befuddle or amaze me.

It's really riding a rollercoaster. One minute you're high up in the air, flying with the birds and dancing with sunshine, and the next minute, you hit rock bottom where you dwell with the worms of insecurity and unworthiness and the bugs of jealousy. You spend hours in that pit, trying hard to dig or claw your way out.

We all want to be the best for that someone we love and we are sometimes guilty of punishing ourselves harshly if we fail to meet expectations. We sometimes forget that love has no expectations and the expectations that we actually failed to meet our actually ours--not from the one who matters, and when we punish ourselves, we also punish the one we love.

Love is about sharing and reaching for each other. We had this early misconception that love is this wonderful feeling where we literally have hearts in our eyes and nothing can ever go wrong. It's the sharing part that makes it so difficult. People are inherently selfish. But there's nothing wrong with that. We have to learn to love ourselves first before we can learn to love others. Wnfortunately, we have this tendency to love ourselves more--putting our needs and wants above that of other people. It's definitely not what my 15 years of catholic education taught me. It's always a struggle to give and give until it hurts, or until the hurting stops. But it will stop, because that's when it blossoms to love.

Love is not all roses and rainbows, or sweetness and sunshine. Love is also despair and longing or disappointment and frustration. We all go through all of those things. That's how love grows. That's how love survives. We just have to remember, that when we feel ourselves despairing and longing, or being disappointed or frustrated, that there are still roses, rainbows, sweetness and lots of sunshine.