Sunday, January 26, 2014

Happy Birthday, Basti!

When my son turned one, I swore I will write a letter to him every year on his  birthday but I never was able to do that. So now, I hope to continue that tradition.

Dear Basti,

It has been five years since you came into our lives and saying that my life irrevocably changed when you emerged from my tummy is an understatement.

I sometimes wonder if I was really that good to deserve someone as wonderful you. I guess all we can be is to be good parents to you and to give not only our best but our all. We sometimes struggle and think if we made the right decision but unfortunately, parenthood does not come with a manual.

Sometimes, I feel guilty because I don't get to spend as much time with you like other parents. At least you have your Dad with you to represent me. But again, this was one path that I chose to take. I hope someday, you'll forgive me for not being a full-time or active mom.

I also hope that one day, you'll realize that when I withhold something from you or say no to you, it is for the best. I do not want you to grow up thinking that the world owes you. It should be the other way around. We, including you, are all placed here for a reason. We spend our lives looking for that reason. I'm happy to say that I have found mine and it is you. I am a lot of things in this world but my main reason for living is giving birth to you.

I hope that you will do big things someday. It is my only wish that you grow up to be successful in your field and make the most out of your life. Enjoy the journey. It's not the end-goal that matters but how you get there.

Be a good boy and I hope that you will embody all the values that we have and will teach you. Always put others ahead of yourself. Selflessness is a value that is sorely lacking in this world. But then, leave a little something for yourself so you can continue to be selfless.

Take care and never forget us. I hope when you grow up, you'll still take some time to see me and your dad. To give me one of your wonderful and precious hugs. They always seem to have the power to take away all the stress and pain.

I love you, Basti. So so much. Seeing you now makes everything worth it.

Much love,


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